I view successes however I can, a "good job" on a homework page, a smile at recognition, or sleeping. Yes, I said sleeping.
I am now caring for a 2 month old, she's about 11 weeks old now, and her life revolves around being awake, and asleep. How much she's awake will start to change over the next few months, but right now, we're weening off 4 naps a day, to 3 and then down to 2. So, how many naps she has during the day directly reflects how I'm doing on the job. Am I able to get her to sleep? for how long? is she happy when she's awake? is she able to put herself to sleep, or do I have to help her? Except when she sleeps TOO much, and is awake during the night for her parents. -oops--
It's fabulous for me that she slept today for 2 1/2 hrs, and that I had to wake her up!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Interviewing and finially LANDING a job
I have been in DFW for the past 3+ months, having come ready to jump into the world of a professional nanny for business people, and or professional athletes. This is a big city, with people of all types, and apparently enough money and demand to have a least 2 nanny agencies to raise all their children. The online applications were lengthy and complicated, I had to go to a "Professional Development Class" for nannies, and still the jobs were not coming through. Some interviews had materialized, but I was not even getting to a 2ed interview. Was it me? was I coming across too abrupt or sterile? So, I made a portfolio, a scrapbook per-say, of me spending time with my nanny children over the past 5 years. And I started doing more research on my kids who I would be working with, AND I starting coming to interviews with all of this PLUS a sample of our daily schedule and how it would evolve as the children got older. The key to all of this was the questions that I started asking the parents:
In college, they drilled us all the time on what questions we would ask potential employers. How could we tactfully find out if the job was going to work for us? This skill must have been pretty rusty for me looking back on those first couple of interviews. Pretty much, I showed up and expected to be hired. --not the case, lesson learned
What type of community do you live in?
Describe your families lifestyle.
What are your dietary beliefs?
--and the most important one--
How do you see your nanny fitting into your family?
In college, they drilled us all the time on what questions we would ask potential employers. How could we tactfully find out if the job was going to work for us? This skill must have been pretty rusty for me looking back on those first couple of interviews. Pretty much, I showed up and expected to be hired. --not the case, lesson learned
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Bridges burned
I like to believe that I'm a decent person, have good manners and don't negatively effect people too much. This whole ordeal with my former boss that happened over a month ago is still bothering me. I guess it wouldn't get to me every now and then, but my son will reference our time there, or the little boy and he has such a sad tone in his voice, that it touches my heart. And I also think about how my nanny boy must feel. He's started a school program, and has friends in his neighborhood, so I don't think my son was at the top of his priority list, so hopefully he has moved on. For his mother, I doubt it.
I can say that, unfortunately, I have burned that bridge. For whatever reason, after my former boss found this blog and read the 1 post concerning my last few days @ her house, that she was washing her hands of me. Really, it wasn't that bad. And again, I was reflecting on MY behavior and how I was feeling, not venting about terrible my boss was, and that I couldn't wait to be done. The only thing I can think is that, somehow, I hurt her feelings. In the 2+ years that we were together she came to the conclusion that our kids were going to be lifelong friends, and would always be a part of each others lives. That's sweet, but unrealistic. And she always treated me, all be it a good, but still, an employee. I did have a pretty cushy job, 4 days a week, off when I wanted, even when that was at the last minuet so we could go farming. But again, it was a JOB, so I always had an arm's length opinion about everything.
It must be my son's feelings that I'm reacting to. Since I want the best for him, that includes not wanting him to be sad either. So this must be a lesson-in-progress for him to be sad. I think that after he starts his preschool program, and makes new friends he'll think about them, instead of his first good friend.
Still, I have to think about my job history to think about, and that she's refused to be my reference. I have friends who have seen me work, and will use them as my backup to explain and account for my professional history. And that's all that matters
I can say that, unfortunately, I have burned that bridge. For whatever reason, after my former boss found this blog and read the 1 post concerning my last few days @ her house, that she was washing her hands of me. Really, it wasn't that bad. And again, I was reflecting on MY behavior and how I was feeling, not venting about terrible my boss was, and that I couldn't wait to be done. The only thing I can think is that, somehow, I hurt her feelings. In the 2+ years that we were together she came to the conclusion that our kids were going to be lifelong friends, and would always be a part of each others lives. That's sweet, but unrealistic. And she always treated me, all be it a good, but still, an employee. I did have a pretty cushy job, 4 days a week, off when I wanted, even when that was at the last minuet so we could go farming. But again, it was a JOB, so I always had an arm's length opinion about everything.
It must be my son's feelings that I'm reacting to. Since I want the best for him, that includes not wanting him to be sad either. So this must be a lesson-in-progress for him to be sad. I think that after he starts his preschool program, and makes new friends he'll think about them, instead of his first good friend.
Still, I have to think about my job history to think about, and that she's refused to be my reference. I have friends who have seen me work, and will use them as my backup to explain and account for my professional history. And that's all that matters
Thursday, August 19, 2010
How employers really talk to their nannies
This was written to me in March of 2007, and my stomach still turns into knots while I read it.
Clare,
Clare,
I need you to be more predictable and do more to help maintain the household. Please look at the job description carefully. I think you know what we need well enough that you should not need daily task lists. Examples of what I need more help with are the girls' rooms, closets, drawers, bathroom and their nails, and I also need you to do what I specifically request by email. I do not want to have to ask for the same things multiple times or to end up doing things myself when you don't get to it unless I understand why. We need to eliminate the gaps. Let's get the JD out again and go down it item by item and discuss.
We need to formalize everything more until we make sure we are on the same page. Please write down your time on a daily basis on the sheet on the fridge -- specifically when you arrive and when you leave. Remember that an employee starts their work day when they are truly in a position to start work, not necessarily when they arrive at the work place. Employees go "off the clock" when they finish work, which is before they pack up and leave. So we can appreciate what you do on a daily basis, write down a summary each day. For planning purposes, write down what you plan for the next day so we can add to it or prioritize. Remember that we would rather have the house running smoothly than have fancy meals and baked goods. There should some time each week for some fun with the girls too. For your own purposes, for a few days write down how much time you spend dealing with W--- while you are here. I think it is much more than you realize.
We truly need your help. John and I work really long hours and I'm still working on recovering my health. Look for ways to make yourself indispensable. The best way to do that is to make what you do each day and week predictable, and to prioritize in terms of what we actually need, which may not always be what you would prefer to do first. We adore you and W--- but you need to remember that this is a job and there are certain things that we need done each day and each week. This job needs to be for our convenience, not just when convenient for you, a distinction I hope you appreciate.
Let's try to get on the same page. We do value what you do.
(Also, please be careful with the kitchen. The island is for food prep not the counter. You left the counter dirty tonight. We already have damage to the counter from leaving lemon juice on it. Treat the kitchen with love -- we worked really, really hard for several years to be able to have a new kitchen and want you to treat it like it was yours.)(We couldn't wait on picking up the basement until tomorrow -- John needed to be able to clean it after it was picked up and needed to clean tonight b/c he has other things he needs to do tomorrow. It would be great if you could make the beds up downstairs tomorrow day for use tomorrow night. I washed some of the basement bedding so it is ready to go.)
Nanny job descriptions
I've been interviewed/cleared by some nanny agencies in Dallas, TX now, and can go on-line to review the families and what they will require of their nanny. I'm trying to sift through them to find one that will be a good fit for me, and my son, and decipher what they say, and what they really say. For example:
Or how about this one,
This position is really requesting a household assistant. All of the carting around I get, since adults who work at a "real" job usually don't get home until after 6. What will Nanny do while the family is eating dinner? Why will she need to stay and clean up from dinner before she gets to leave?
And my favorite:
Candidate must be flexible, able to work long, hours and stay overnight if the parents are out of town. Nanny will assist with cooking, childrens' laundry, light housekeeping, picking-up from school, grocery shopping (if time permits), homework assistance and transporting to various activities.translates to, we need an intern, someone to do the grunt work.
Or how about this one,
Daily responsibilities are to arrive at 9am for general household duties (light cleaning, grocery shopping, kid's laundry, errands) until12:45. Nanny will need to pick up the 3 year old from preschool at 12:45 each day, continue errands with three year old or return home for play or nap time. At 3:20 pick up older two from elementary school. 4:00 head home for snack and help with homework (or depending upon the day, cart to after-school activities). 5:00 prepare simple dinner for family 6:00-6:30 - finish up household duties while family has dinner. Assist with dinner clean up. 6:30 depart
This position is really requesting a household assistant. All of the carting around I get, since adults who work at a "real" job usually don't get home until after 6. What will Nanny do while the family is eating dinner? Why will she need to stay and clean up from dinner before she gets to leave?
And my favorite:
Nanny will help get the children ready for school, feed breakfast, gather their belonging and assist with any last minute homework and then transport to school. Nanny manager will then come home and assist with light housekeeping, dishes, sweeping, laundry, linen care, and organizational projects. Nanny will also run errands to the post office, grocery store, dry cleaners and other locations as needed. Nanny will pick children up from school, feed snack, assist with homework, transport to various after-school activities and possible assist with dinner prep and pack lunches for next day.This one is really a request for another mom/wife. Not that she will get any benefits of being that, just a wife-of-the-wife so that the mom doesn't have to work too hard
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Honest in posting
I'm just a bit more cautious about what I'm writing down today. Not that anything I that I written is slanderous, or vulgar. It's honest, to the point, and usually reflects more about how I view myself, and the environment around me. I do not viciously attack anyone, do not call out names, and for the most part, speak in general terms. And, I'm the employee in these relationships. Who hasn't found some kind of venue to vent about their current job and boss? Like I was explaining to my mom and dad, when last week I thought my world as I knew it was going to fall apart from what I've written here. Everything that I write down is something that I would say out-loud to them, or to my Grandma. It's nothing I'm ashamed of.
There was a family I was working for, at the end of 2005, who used to write me these awful emails. I wish I had kept them, so I could share, but they would turn my stomach when I read them, so they were shredded. These exchanges, coupled with completely opposite demur, and manners to my face, made it a vol-ital relationship.
As stated before, these are stories that happen to me. I don't elaborate on things, or embellish the stories. I feel like if there is anything that I can talk about about, it's how I am around children, and how they act around me.
There was a family I was working for, at the end of 2005, who used to write me these awful emails. I wish I had kept them, so I could share, but they would turn my stomach when I read them, so they were shredded. These exchanges, coupled with completely opposite demur, and manners to my face, made it a vol-ital relationship.
As stated before, these are stories that happen to me. I don't elaborate on things, or embellish the stories. I feel like if there is anything that I can talk about about, it's how I am around children, and how they act around me.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Counting down the last days
We have 4 days left in Charlotte, before we relocate to Dallas, TX. This, in itself is not news, just the impact that those remaining days is having on our family. I have been preparing ds for sometime now on the move. He's over it. He knows we're going to be staying between my parent's house, and my brother's house, fine with him. He knows that we're not going to come back to this house, he knows that we have to travel for 2 days. Fine by him. Good, right? I've done my job by preparing him, reading books, and talking about the new adventure we're going to be having.
So when Dh came home yesterday, wearing stress in his eyes, I was caught off guard. I thought he might have just been busy at the hotel. I learned, long ago, to just let him tell me what's going on, and not to hover. He finally told me he was not prepared to have his replacement sitting in his chair, talking to his friends, taking over his office. It was like someone was taking possession over his creation. He stated, "It wasn't mine" in that final voice which all men have. I offered him the camera so he could take pictures of his staff, and his properties, but he politely declined. As gently as I could, I told him it was OK for him to feel this way, and he was entitled to have a little sadness when it came to leaving. I hope he realizes this.
Me, on the other hand, is ready to jump in with both feet! I have interviews set up with 2 nanny agencies for next week. I've researched where I'll need to get CPR certified, and have a YMCA in mind where I can take ds for swim lessons. I've taken pictures of the house, so I can look back and remember how proud I am of all the work we've put into this. We met with our nanny boy yesterday and had our final play date. The mom even got tears in her eyes when we were leaving (caught me totally by surprise). I'm READY for this new chapter. Sure, I'm sad when I think about my friends, my relationships, and all of the things I've had to donate to friends because we can't move certain things. But all together, I'm a planner, and I've been planning this for awhile, and have a plan for the next year, and I finally have a 5 year plan, it's exciting to me to be on the edge of the diving board, getting ready to jump in!
So when Dh came home yesterday, wearing stress in his eyes, I was caught off guard. I thought he might have just been busy at the hotel. I learned, long ago, to just let him tell me what's going on, and not to hover. He finally told me he was not prepared to have his replacement sitting in his chair, talking to his friends, taking over his office. It was like someone was taking possession over his creation. He stated, "It wasn't mine" in that final voice which all men have. I offered him the camera so he could take pictures of his staff, and his properties, but he politely declined. As gently as I could, I told him it was OK for him to feel this way, and he was entitled to have a little sadness when it came to leaving. I hope he realizes this.
Me, on the other hand, is ready to jump in with both feet! I have interviews set up with 2 nanny agencies for next week. I've researched where I'll need to get CPR certified, and have a YMCA in mind where I can take ds for swim lessons. I've taken pictures of the house, so I can look back and remember how proud I am of all the work we've put into this. We met with our nanny boy yesterday and had our final play date. The mom even got tears in her eyes when we were leaving (caught me totally by surprise). I'm READY for this new chapter. Sure, I'm sad when I think about my friends, my relationships, and all of the things I've had to donate to friends because we can't move certain things. But all together, I'm a planner, and I've been planning this for awhile, and have a plan for the next year, and I finally have a 5 year plan, it's exciting to me to be on the edge of the diving board, getting ready to jump in!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Justifying the cost
When a family in search of a nanny goes to an agency, they are required to pay a "finders fee" for that service. This eliminates the hassle of doing any of the searching themselves. No background checks, licence checks, drug tests, fingerprinting, blah blah blah. This fee that they pay to the agency can be between $1000-1500. Usually half at first, to get the ball rolling, and get potential nannies sent to their home to interview, and the remainder 30 days after a proper nanny has been placed.
The nanny just has to fill out the extensive application, sit through a face-to-face interview with someone from the agency, and pass all tests. Then, wait for a family to find her application acceptable enough to come in for an interview with the family. If that interview is successful, they might set up another interview/playdate (paid) to see how the nanny will interact with the children.
Let's address the application. The one I'm working on now has eleven levels of questions, ranging from basic information, household staffing, and self-assessment.
The nanny just has to fill out the extensive application, sit through a face-to-face interview with someone from the agency, and pass all tests. Then, wait for a family to find her application acceptable enough to come in for an interview with the family. If that interview is successful, they might set up another interview/playdate (paid) to see how the nanny will interact with the children.
Let's address the application. The one I'm working on now has eleven levels of questions, ranging from basic information, household staffing, and self-assessment.
??Business Management/Support - managing/training support staff, computer abilities, errands, scheduling meetings and travel, knowledge of hotels and facilities, packing, organizing, and household budget
??Specialty Care - how to care for fine furnishings and fabrics, cleaning and disinfecting, cleaning and organizing storage areas, drawers and closets, cleaning product knowledge
??Repairs and Preservation - create list of/maintaining inventory, securing hazardous areas, upkeep of appliances, childproofing
??Entertaining - expertise in entertaining etiquette such as formal table service, table manners and protocol, event planning
and my favorite
??Create a paragraph which gives your mission and vision of your career and what you have to offer a future employer
Yes, this is my chosen career path right now. And yes, I do feel that it is a worthy job, I'm just finding it a challenge coming up with a mission statement. This application is pretty exhausting, which I'm sure is part of the process of weaning out possible candidate.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Seeking new nanny position leads to all kind of things
As stated before, my family is moving to Dallas/Forth Worth Tx in the next couple of weeks. I'm currently exploring the options of becoming a nanny in the area, and have made a couple of phone calls to inquire if the market is big enough to support a nanny career.
First off, a simple Google search resulted in 2 agencies. If DFW is big enough to have 2 agencies, then they certainly have enough jobs to support a career. I speak with one agency, and play 20 questions. How many families do you have?? How has the economy effected jobs?? What is the current rate of nannies. Just trying to get an overview of what I'm going to walk into once I arrive.
Then, I start fill out the online application. Simple enough, at first. Job history, references, licence number, and now onto the deeper stuff. "What is my mission statement?" "what is my overall philosophy on childcare" ???????????? These questions require some additional thinking. I save my app, and start looking up phone #'s for my references.
I call an old phone number off my last resume, and get a recorded message. I leave a voice mail explaining why I'm calling and what I need. When the call is returned to me, I learn that my boss I had for almost 3 years, back in 2003, sold her company, and has recently learned she has breast cancer. This is the woman I've been contemplating on contacting, just so I can see the kids, and touch base with her. Now I learn that she has had cancer!? I'm shocked. I'm going to be in her area tomorrow evening, but don't want to appear to be a stalker. So, I do what we do now when you're looking for someone, I find her on Facebook.
In the meantime, I've emailed my last boss, asking her for our job description/nanny agreement. She sends me it, and also comments on how she's surprised to hear that I'm looking for another nanny job. "I thought you wanted to spend more time with ds". Uggg, this is so like her. Like I need to explain to HER why I'm nanny searching.
First off, a simple Google search resulted in 2 agencies. If DFW is big enough to have 2 agencies, then they certainly have enough jobs to support a career. I speak with one agency, and play 20 questions. How many families do you have?? How has the economy effected jobs?? What is the current rate of nannies. Just trying to get an overview of what I'm going to walk into once I arrive.
Then, I start fill out the online application. Simple enough, at first. Job history, references, licence number, and now onto the deeper stuff. "What is my mission statement?" "what is my overall philosophy on childcare" ???????????? These questions require some additional thinking. I save my app, and start looking up phone #'s for my references.
I call an old phone number off my last resume, and get a recorded message. I leave a voice mail explaining why I'm calling and what I need. When the call is returned to me, I learn that my boss I had for almost 3 years, back in 2003, sold her company, and has recently learned she has breast cancer. This is the woman I've been contemplating on contacting, just so I can see the kids, and touch base with her. Now I learn that she has had cancer!? I'm shocked. I'm going to be in her area tomorrow evening, but don't want to appear to be a stalker. So, I do what we do now when you're looking for someone, I find her on Facebook.
In the meantime, I've emailed my last boss, asking her for our job description/nanny agreement. She sends me it, and also comments on how she's surprised to hear that I'm looking for another nanny job. "I thought you wanted to spend more time with ds". Uggg, this is so like her. Like I need to explain to HER why I'm nanny searching.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Trying to explain moving to a 4year old
We've decided to move to Dallas for Dh's job, and made the big announcement yesterday. We knew that ds was not going to be too excited about this, as his world is very important to him. He's always liked to think he's in control over his surroundings. Very comforted by the same story over and over again, needs prep time to get ready for anything.
Last night, Dh started to pack up a his toy tractor collection, something that doesn't need to be out in a house on the market. These are special toys that Dad and Ds get to play with together only on special occasions. Ds was watching, and his bottom lip started to quiver,
"Why are you doing that Dad?"
"Well, I need to pack these up so they stay safe" -Dad
"I don't like that, you need to put those back" -Ds
"You're not in charge. Some times things have to change" -Dad
"I don't like change" -Ds
Ds and I went upstairs to read our first of a couple books about moving. He declares, "I'm not moving to a new house, I like this one".
So this is my challenge over the next couple of weeks. Not only getting him used to the idea of moving, but EXCITED about it, and looking forward to starting our new chapter
Last night, Dh started to pack up a his toy tractor collection, something that doesn't need to be out in a house on the market. These are special toys that Dad and Ds get to play with together only on special occasions. Ds was watching, and his bottom lip started to quiver,
"Why are you doing that Dad?"
"Well, I need to pack these up so they stay safe" -Dad
"I don't like that, you need to put those back" -Ds
"You're not in charge. Some times things have to change" -Dad
"I don't like change" -Ds
Ds and I went upstairs to read our first of a couple books about moving. He declares, "I'm not moving to a new house, I like this one".
So this is my challenge over the next couple of weeks. Not only getting him used to the idea of moving, but EXCITED about it, and looking forward to starting our new chapter
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Reality of Kid Birthday Parties
Birthday parties, a time to celebrate yet one more year completed, and another to go. Cake, punch, games, a pinata, noise makers, add children and you've got a party! Correction-you have crazy may-ham on your hands!
I've only been to a couple of parties, and this is ON PURPOSE. I know that if you have more than 3 children together your child will morph into something you have never seen before. The most active, and loudest child takes over, infecting the other children with this energy, and suddenly, you have a mob on your hands. Screaming, running around, blowing on those noise makers, climbing on things that not designed to be, and THEN, let's give them something to HIT at. Ahhh....this is a celebration right? There are no rules that apply here? Other than, let's scoot back a little so we don't whack our friends.
Ok, crazy mob scene, now lets add candy, cake and ice cream! whoo hoo! Let's see how many pieces of candy your child can stick in their mouth at once. My son can finish a lollipop in 3 crunches, and be digging in his bag for another in about 2.5 seconds. Then, give them all a slice of over mixed, super dry sponge cake (that everyone thinks is AMAZING) covered with icing dyed shades of colors using our favorite ingredient, Red Dye 40. Their teeth get coated in this goo, and if you're lucky, they'll get some on their best shirt they wore to the party.
Do you dare to open presents?? Well, I hope not, but if the child insists.. enter craziness that is usually exhibited at the toy store, when you tell your child that "No, they may not get the super-douper-crazy-cartwheel delux speed racer that includes 8 feet of track". Those asiles make great stages for the ultimate meltdown, and the ceiling echos so nicely. Back to the party, now all of those children are surrounded by the coolest toys, and which one are they going to bust out of it's plastic clamshell to play with first? "No, we can't? Aww man!"
Alright parents, time to leave, here's a goodie bag, wait -- another bag full of candy -- that you have to wrestle away from your over stimulated, crabby, too hot child on the way home, to wait out the sugar high. Ahh, the celebration....
I've only been to a couple of parties, and this is ON PURPOSE. I know that if you have more than 3 children together your child will morph into something you have never seen before. The most active, and loudest child takes over, infecting the other children with this energy, and suddenly, you have a mob on your hands. Screaming, running around, blowing on those noise makers, climbing on things that not designed to be, and THEN, let's give them something to HIT at. Ahhh....this is a celebration right? There are no rules that apply here? Other than, let's scoot back a little so we don't whack our friends.
Ok, crazy mob scene, now lets add candy, cake and ice cream! whoo hoo! Let's see how many pieces of candy your child can stick in their mouth at once. My son can finish a lollipop in 3 crunches, and be digging in his bag for another in about 2.5 seconds. Then, give them all a slice of over mixed, super dry sponge cake (that everyone thinks is AMAZING) covered with icing dyed shades of colors using our favorite ingredient, Red Dye 40. Their teeth get coated in this goo, and if you're lucky, they'll get some on their best shirt they wore to the party.
Do you dare to open presents?? Well, I hope not, but if the child insists.. enter craziness that is usually exhibited at the toy store, when you tell your child that "No, they may not get the super-douper-crazy-cartwheel delux speed racer that includes 8 feet of track". Those asiles make great stages for the ultimate meltdown, and the ceiling echos so nicely. Back to the party, now all of those children are surrounded by the coolest toys, and which one are they going to bust out of it's plastic clamshell to play with first? "No, we can't? Aww man!"
Alright parents, time to leave, here's a goodie bag, wait -- another bag full of candy -- that you have to wrestle away from your over stimulated, crabby, too hot child on the way home, to wait out the sugar high. Ahh, the celebration....
Monday, April 26, 2010
"Mah-em!!"
I remember the days when ds didn't talk. Thinking about what was going on in his head, what he was pondering at any given moment. And then, when words began to come out, how exciting! There was something in between those 2 precious ears, AND it was working!!! When he starting calling me "Mom", "Mamma", oh, how it touched my heart.
Now, I have to take deep breath every time I hear "MAH-EM". This is usually from another room, outside, or across the soccer field. I've resolved myself that I'm biologically processed to stop whatever I'm doing, and answer this so-called cry for assistance. I can be almost asleep, elbow deep in soapy dish water, or intensely concentrating on a TV program when this word will slice into air.
This past weekend, Dh and I stayed up late on Saturday night catching up with each other, and I went over my customary 1 adult beverage (I had 3). So, Sunday morning comes with it my waller-worm son making his presence known in our bed to wake me up. I bring him downstairs and get him settled with his breakfast and Sesame, then retreat back upstairs to get more rest. This is when the "Mah-em" starts. Randomly, the voice reaches my ears, jolting me out of my semi-sleeping state. The frequency increases, "Mah-em, Mah-em" and so on. I drag myself out of bed, go downstairs and look at ds, "Yes, what IS IT". Ds replies, "You know what Mom? Elmo is talking about water today".
I imagine it could be worse, he could be crying, or whining other words trying to get my attention. He must think that whatever around him needs my attention, or he wants to share it with me. And we all know that children don't care at all about how late you stayed up the night before, or how much you had to drink. All of this should be a compliment to me, and the frequency we're together, right? Hold on, I think I hear him calling to me.....
"Mah-em, MOM"
excuse me, gotta run
Now, I have to take deep breath every time I hear "MAH-EM". This is usually from another room, outside, or across the soccer field. I've resolved myself that I'm biologically processed to stop whatever I'm doing, and answer this so-called cry for assistance. I can be almost asleep, elbow deep in soapy dish water, or intensely concentrating on a TV program when this word will slice into air.
This past weekend, Dh and I stayed up late on Saturday night catching up with each other, and I went over my customary 1 adult beverage (I had 3). So, Sunday morning comes with it my waller-worm son making his presence known in our bed to wake me up. I bring him downstairs and get him settled with his breakfast and Sesame, then retreat back upstairs to get more rest. This is when the "Mah-em" starts. Randomly, the voice reaches my ears, jolting me out of my semi-sleeping state. The frequency increases, "Mah-em, Mah-em" and so on. I drag myself out of bed, go downstairs and look at ds, "Yes, what IS IT". Ds replies, "You know what Mom? Elmo is talking about water today".
I imagine it could be worse, he could be crying, or whining other words trying to get my attention. He must think that whatever around him needs my attention, or he wants to share it with me. And we all know that children don't care at all about how late you stayed up the night before, or how much you had to drink. All of this should be a compliment to me, and the frequency we're together, right? Hold on, I think I hear him calling to me.....
"Mah-em, MOM"
excuse me, gotta run
Monday, April 19, 2010
"MOM, I'm hungry!!"
My son has been such a silly eater in his 4 years. He doesn't like anything soft and smooth, so he never ate baby food, and just started to like applesauce, yogurt, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. I fretted about this at first, as a first-time-mom, but would always offer him something hard and crunchy instead, and he would always pick that choice. At the end of the day he got all of his servings of the food pyramid. Something happened to his appetite around his 4th birthday that turned on his "eating button". It's just fine with me, I love seeing him eat, it's this deep feeling of pride when you know that your child is getting the nutrition they need. It has surprised me a couple of times, when he's ready to eat, and I don't have anything prepared, or at easy reach to hand to him.
That is what happened at soccer practice this past week. All of us parents are lining the perimeter of the designated area, watching our children learn "dribbling". He's glad I'm watching him, and unlike @ gymnastics, I can also hear him. He yells over to me, "Mom (MMaaaaaammmmm), I'm getting hungry!" Then, stops what he's doing to run over to me to see if I have anything to eat. Of course, I don't have anything to hand to him (and wouldn't!). I give him a drink and send him back on his way assuring him we'll have something after practice on the way home. Of course, once soccer is over, we head to the car to open his snack-pac. A tupperware container I have filled with almonds, red bell pepper and carrots. He has it devoured by the time we get home.
When we walk in the door, he declares he's "ready for supper now"
That is what happened at soccer practice this past week. All of us parents are lining the perimeter of the designated area, watching our children learn "dribbling". He's glad I'm watching him, and unlike @ gymnastics, I can also hear him. He yells over to me, "Mom (MMaaaaaammmmm), I'm getting hungry!" Then, stops what he's doing to run over to me to see if I have anything to eat. Of course, I don't have anything to hand to him (and wouldn't!). I give him a drink and send him back on his way assuring him we'll have something after practice on the way home. Of course, once soccer is over, we head to the car to open his snack-pac. A tupperware container I have filled with almonds, red bell pepper and carrots. He has it devoured by the time we get home.
When we walk in the door, he declares he's "ready for supper now"
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Make contact?
I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and am just conflicted about what I should do. The family that I worked for between 2003-2005 is very close to my heart. I started with them when the son was just a couple of weeks old, and was asked to leave when he was 2 1/2. As you can imagine, I have a lot of memories around him, his sisters, and family. As mentioned, in previous blog, I left when I was pregnant, and the mom had just had #4. Life goes on, and now I'm just curious to get in touch with them.
In 2006 I received a Christmas card from them, with a summer time picture on it, that gave a brief outline of their family's year, including a miscarriage. I felt for them, and remember crying the night that I read the card, and looked at the children in the picture. I sent them a card, expressing that I would love to keep in touch, or come and see them. The mom isn't a fan of mail, or even leaving message's on her voice mail, so I'm not surprised that I never heard anything back from this small attempt. Then, a couple months later, I heard that her business was closing. My thoughts were neutral on that, but sad that her creation was coming to an end.
So, the other day, I happened to be over in their part of town. It is NOT close to my house at all, so I don't have a chance to go by, unless I'm on a specific mission. It was the middle of the day, but I thought, I might as well drive by the house and see if they're home. From all accounts the kids are now, 19 (gulp!) 8,7, and almost 5. The house is still there, with the dog that I remember, plus 1. The scooter that the kids used to play with was out, as well as some other toys, but no one was home. The middle of the day, right? I jotted down the house #, and took it with me. Now I have to think about writing a note to them, or just stopping by again.
Of course, over the years, I've glazed over the challenging days, teething experiences, and cold, rainy February days when we just watched a lot of TV, and only think about the fun times. But I also think about what my son is like now. How I teach him, relate to him, and keep him entertained all day. What I did different then, and how I do it now. And the one thing I think of most, is how much I want to thank her (nanny mom) for letting me be a part of her family for so long. I know I wasn't the best, didn't show the kids enough affection, but how much I miss them. I didn't realize that I would grow to love those kids, and that they would forever hold a spot in my heart. I know they don't remember who taught them their colors, or numbers, but I remember them.
Maybe I shouldn't contact them so that the will always have this shinning image in my head. So that I won't tarnish their image with what they are like now. They are kids, and have moved onto more things, the oldest girl is probably in college now! The mom and I never became friends, and I never had a relationship with the dad, so what is there to grasp out? Is it because I was asked to leave that I feel like there wasn't any closeour? Will I really feel comforted by reaching out to them? Who knows....
In 2006 I received a Christmas card from them, with a summer time picture on it, that gave a brief outline of their family's year, including a miscarriage. I felt for them, and remember crying the night that I read the card, and looked at the children in the picture. I sent them a card, expressing that I would love to keep in touch, or come and see them. The mom isn't a fan of mail, or even leaving message's on her voice mail, so I'm not surprised that I never heard anything back from this small attempt. Then, a couple months later, I heard that her business was closing. My thoughts were neutral on that, but sad that her creation was coming to an end.
So, the other day, I happened to be over in their part of town. It is NOT close to my house at all, so I don't have a chance to go by, unless I'm on a specific mission. It was the middle of the day, but I thought, I might as well drive by the house and see if they're home. From all accounts the kids are now, 19 (gulp!) 8,7, and almost 5. The house is still there, with the dog that I remember, plus 1. The scooter that the kids used to play with was out, as well as some other toys, but no one was home. The middle of the day, right? I jotted down the house #, and took it with me. Now I have to think about writing a note to them, or just stopping by again.
Of course, over the years, I've glazed over the challenging days, teething experiences, and cold, rainy February days when we just watched a lot of TV, and only think about the fun times. But I also think about what my son is like now. How I teach him, relate to him, and keep him entertained all day. What I did different then, and how I do it now. And the one thing I think of most, is how much I want to thank her (nanny mom) for letting me be a part of her family for so long. I know I wasn't the best, didn't show the kids enough affection, but how much I miss them. I didn't realize that I would grow to love those kids, and that they would forever hold a spot in my heart. I know they don't remember who taught them their colors, or numbers, but I remember them.
Maybe I shouldn't contact them so that the will always have this shinning image in my head. So that I won't tarnish their image with what they are like now. They are kids, and have moved onto more things, the oldest girl is probably in college now! The mom and I never became friends, and I never had a relationship with the dad, so what is there to grasp out? Is it because I was asked to leave that I feel like there wasn't any closeour? Will I really feel comforted by reaching out to them? Who knows....
Friday, April 9, 2010
Park playdate
Today was the first day that we, ds & I, were going to a event of our fellow moms that live in Union county. I was so excited to meet some friendly faces with children the same age as ds. The idea that friends could live close, with mom's that all have the same stories to share, ahh heaven to me.
We didn't plan anything else for today, leaving the mid-day chunk free for any extended playing. I packed our lunch, drinks, and MADE cookies to share. A double batch of super-duper peanut butter cookies that tasted SO yummy. Of course, this was because food always helps ease the friendship in, right? The day is sunny with a brisk spring breeze, perfect for park playing.
Man, was I ever wrong. The mommies that were there, were fully entrenched in their own conversations with themselves and their <2yr yr olds. After ds schooled them with all of his tricks, we got dirty looks from the moms. Like, how dare I bring a bigger kid over to play beside their little ones. So, I start scoping out the rest of the park for age appropriate kids for ds. There are a few on the merry-go-round, but after ds tries it, he decides it's going too fast. The kids on the merry-go-round are all 6+, and don't take any interest in ds anyways. All I want to do is find some other 4yr olds for ds to play with!!
Ds is, of course, oblivious of all of my effort, as he clambers from one equipment apparatus to another, showing me tricks and having a good time. I'm left wondering where are all of the friends his age? Daycare/preschool must be the answer. Now I'll just have to do more research to find out where the other 4 yr olds are that don't go to school, or when they are done with school for the day so that ds can make some friends.
We didn't plan anything else for today, leaving the mid-day chunk free for any extended playing. I packed our lunch, drinks, and MADE cookies to share. A double batch of super-duper peanut butter cookies that tasted SO yummy. Of course, this was because food always helps ease the friendship in, right? The day is sunny with a brisk spring breeze, perfect for park playing.
Man, was I ever wrong. The mommies that were there, were fully entrenched in their own conversations with themselves and their <2yr yr olds. After ds schooled them with all of his tricks, we got dirty looks from the moms. Like, how dare I bring a bigger kid over to play beside their little ones. So, I start scoping out the rest of the park for age appropriate kids for ds. There are a few on the merry-go-round, but after ds tries it, he decides it's going too fast. The kids on the merry-go-round are all 6+, and don't take any interest in ds anyways. All I want to do is find some other 4yr olds for ds to play with!!
Ds is, of course, oblivious of all of my effort, as he clambers from one equipment apparatus to another, showing me tricks and having a good time. I'm left wondering where are all of the friends his age? Daycare/preschool must be the answer. Now I'll just have to do more research to find out where the other 4 yr olds are that don't go to school, or when they are done with school for the day so that ds can make some friends.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Our Tuesday activities
I have to have a plan, or an idea of what is going to happen the night before. Can't just go into the day wondering, "What will we do today?". If I do, nothing happens, I don't get out of my pajamas, and we sit around like bums. There will be those days, I'm sure, but not when it's sunny outside, and my house is in desperate need of vacuming.
We started the day with some vague outlines of what we wanted to accomplish. Clean ds's room, have him help me, trim back some bushes so I can get to the outdoor faucet without battling branches, and doing some housework. Ds did help me clean his room, he helped by staying out of my way so I could do some serious thinning out, reorganizing, and putting away. And he does help me vacume, by shooting it with whatever pretend gun he has in his hand, and whacking it as it goes by. Ds also wanted to do some digging to hunt for dinosaurs, since his current "Little Critter" book features this super cool idea.
When we headed outside, the backyard had about 2 feet left in the shadow of the house (our backyard is due West, so unless you get your backyard work done in the morning, you're on center stage with the southern sun as your spotlight). I got to work with the power trimmers, while ds was entertained by washing his out-grown front end loader. We want to pass this toy along to another boy, and it first needs to be rid of it's outer coating of pollen. He's having a great time with his super size sponge, when I look over and he's IN the bucket of soapy water. "Mom, look at this" he's saying to me with a great big grin on his face. By now, we're in full sun, so of course getting into a bucket of water will feel good. With his 4-yr-old abilities he's trying to wash the loader, stay in the bucket, refill his sponge, when something has to give... everything topples over. This just adds to the fun! We refill his bucket with more water until the loader is washed, and ds is soaked.
I collect all of my tools and put them away, and pick up my out door quilt. We can't go inside at this point, so we might as well enjoy some time outside in the shade. We lay the quilt down under some shade trees and hang out. Reading a book, and looking at birds, until he is mostly dry. Then he gets his shovel and starts digging for dinosaurs. He finds plenty of worms, which are just as cool, and finally decides that a safflower seed is a dinosaur bone. As he's telling me about this new find, he's putting the seed all around his body, trying to figure out what type of bone it is, and declares, "It's from the dinosaur's tail" as he's holding it behind his bum.
It's my hope that we'll have more days like this, full of projects, playing and exploring. He's only this age once, and I want to savor every moment. Next week starts soccer, and that with gymnastics we might not get a full day to hang out again until the fall. For now, this is my life, and I'm so thankful for it.
We started the day with some vague outlines of what we wanted to accomplish. Clean ds's room, have him help me, trim back some bushes so I can get to the outdoor faucet without battling branches, and doing some housework. Ds did help me clean his room, he helped by staying out of my way so I could do some serious thinning out, reorganizing, and putting away. And he does help me vacume, by shooting it with whatever pretend gun he has in his hand, and whacking it as it goes by. Ds also wanted to do some digging to hunt for dinosaurs, since his current "Little Critter" book features this super cool idea.
When we headed outside, the backyard had about 2 feet left in the shadow of the house (our backyard is due West, so unless you get your backyard work done in the morning, you're on center stage with the southern sun as your spotlight). I got to work with the power trimmers, while ds was entertained by washing his out-grown front end loader. We want to pass this toy along to another boy, and it first needs to be rid of it's outer coating of pollen. He's having a great time with his super size sponge, when I look over and he's IN the bucket of soapy water. "Mom, look at this" he's saying to me with a great big grin on his face. By now, we're in full sun, so of course getting into a bucket of water will feel good. With his 4-yr-old abilities he's trying to wash the loader, stay in the bucket, refill his sponge, when something has to give... everything topples over. This just adds to the fun! We refill his bucket with more water until the loader is washed, and ds is soaked.
I collect all of my tools and put them away, and pick up my out door quilt. We can't go inside at this point, so we might as well enjoy some time outside in the shade. We lay the quilt down under some shade trees and hang out. Reading a book, and looking at birds, until he is mostly dry. Then he gets his shovel and starts digging for dinosaurs. He finds plenty of worms, which are just as cool, and finally decides that a safflower seed is a dinosaur bone. As he's telling me about this new find, he's putting the seed all around his body, trying to figure out what type of bone it is, and declares, "It's from the dinosaur's tail" as he's holding it behind his bum.
It's my hope that we'll have more days like this, full of projects, playing and exploring. He's only this age once, and I want to savor every moment. Next week starts soccer, and that with gymnastics we might not get a full day to hang out again until the fall. For now, this is my life, and I'm so thankful for it.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Storking
When a women in my community have a new baby, members of her community are asked to bring over a meal for the family. This is "storking". While I have lived in this community for about 9 years now, I have yet to meet very many women. Due to working, my geographic location in my neighborhood, or whatever, I don't have many friends within 2 miles of my house. So, my online community asked me to join the Storking Committee, I jumped on the chance.
What I hope to achieve in this new role is to not only meet women, but make a name for myself around my community. I have a screen name, but as previously stated, haven't done much with myself. I don't want the notoriety of "oooo, you're getting storked by ()", just want people to recognize my name in more forums, so that when I go to places where we actually meet face-to-face, people might say, "Oh, yeah. She's the one who storkes". It's something my mom has done, although it was not labeled as such, and so I have the ability to put a casserole together, and who cannot benefit more from a ready made meal, then a mom with a BRAND new baby.
All of this said, it's challenging for me. Not only the worry of what to make, physically making the dish and delivering it, it's the absolute reminder of babies. My hubby and I have been trying for years now to conceive, and have yet to reach our goal. Seeing these women is a deep swallow of jealousy for me, but I just chalk it up to, this is the right thing to do. I also want some of this good karma, and people will eventually be storking me.
What I hope to achieve in this new role is to not only meet women, but make a name for myself around my community. I have a screen name, but as previously stated, haven't done much with myself. I don't want the notoriety of "oooo, you're getting storked by ()", just want people to recognize my name in more forums, so that when I go to places where we actually meet face-to-face, people might say, "Oh, yeah. She's the one who storkes". It's something my mom has done, although it was not labeled as such, and so I have the ability to put a casserole together, and who cannot benefit more from a ready made meal, then a mom with a BRAND new baby.
All of this said, it's challenging for me. Not only the worry of what to make, physically making the dish and delivering it, it's the absolute reminder of babies. My hubby and I have been trying for years now to conceive, and have yet to reach our goal. Seeing these women is a deep swallow of jealousy for me, but I just chalk it up to, this is the right thing to do. I also want some of this good karma, and people will eventually be storking me.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Gee Honeymoon
As I've mentioned before, Ds loves his Gee. We have some strict rules in our house about his lovey, which are:
- it does not come downstairs
- does not go in the car
- gets put away after we get dressed for the day (under his pillow)
Not that big of a deal, I don't feel like a tyrant when it comes to these rules, I don't want Gee dragged all over the house picking up germs, and who knows what else.
So this is our first week at home, and he won't hardly come downstairs! We've been playing with trains, that are set up downstairs, but as soon as he's done, it's back upstairs to "snuggle". I had him writing thank-you notes on his desk in his room, went to check on him, he was on the top bunk, snuggling. Watching movies on my bed for his afternoon chill-time, has Gee wrapped all around him. Now, it's time to play cars, and along with pushing his whole bin of cars into my room, Gee is on top.
Is this an issue? I'll have to keep you posted. He certainly seems to enjoy having Gee with him, and we are both VERY happy to be here, so maybe it's just a honeymoon phase he's in. After he gets used to the idea that we're not going to bolt out the door, he'll be more comfortable just being at the house without his lovey securely in tow.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
My brother is a tennis pro
It is taking me quite awhile to figure out how this technology works. I graduated from college in 2001, but I feel like it might as well been 1901 for all the computer knowledge I'm lacking.
My dad & brother have created their own website for making & keeping track of his lessons. They are not quite ready to advertise, and I'm not quick enough to keep up with them anyways! I do want to help promote their website, and eventually use my blog not only as entertainment, but income from advertising. This is the picture they are using on the homepage.
appoitmentmanagerplus.com
My dad & brother have created their own website for making & keeping track of his lessons. They are not quite ready to advertise, and I'm not quick enough to keep up with them anyways! I do want to help promote their website, and eventually use my blog not only as entertainment, but income from advertising. This is the picture they are using on the homepage.
appoitmentmanagerplus.com
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Just LEAVE already!!!
Many people have been witness to this event, or been an actual part in this bazaar experience that happens right before you begin your day. You're ready to drop your child off @ daycare, leave home with your child in your nanny's care, and all the sudden your child becomes this crying, yelling, screaming child capable of a death grip around your neck. You panic because you've never seen this before, it's caught you completely off guard. You think, I'll just spend one more minuet, then everything will be fine. Nope, in fact, it gets worse. You are finally forced to leave, and you have such a deflated expression on your face, and your shoulders, that you think that you're the worst parent ever for leaving your child in the grips of such a horrible environment. How can this be happening to your precious child?
Let me tell you, parents, IT'S YOUR FAULT. Yes, you need to wake up and see that this behavior in particular, is directly reflected in how you & your child interact first thing in the morning. And if you don't recognize it for what it is, and address the problem, it will keep getting worse. You can pry the fingers off your neck as a baby, even a pre-schooler, then as school starts, the child will start sleeping later, rushing through breakfast, yelling at you as they go to catch the bus because they didn't remember to put all their books back in their backpack.
The solution? Spend time with your child first thing in the morning. Snuggle, read a story, lay in bed spooning for just a couple of minuets, and everything will be different. If this means that you need to set your alarm 5 min earlier so you have time to do this, then DO it. And, when Day Light Savings time rolls around, and your child is sleeping an extra hour, wake them up, so they have a chance to spend time with you before you leave in the morning. They don't know about the extra hour, they just know that you left, and will use every tool at their disposal to manipulate you into feeling like dirt. It works, doesn't it?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try and console your child, reason with them, and if you threaten to leave, then follow through and walk out the door. Remember that you chose the child care provider for their capabilities, and trust in them that they can handle a screaming child. You're only encouraging this behavior if you sit and talk, try to reason, or explain yourself. I once heard a dad try and explain to his wound-up 2 year old that he needed to go to work to make money. Does this compute to the child? I don't think so. Instead, spend those 2 min snuggling first thing in the morning, talking about what you will do when you get home. Remind the child about how much fun there is to have during the day, and that you will return.
A child that waves to his mom/dad as they walk out the door to leave is full of confidence. They know that they will be well cared for during the day, have all of their physical/emotional needs met, AND that mom & dad will return at the end of the day. They are empowered to have fun throughout the day, so they have stories to tell over the diner table. The rhythm of the day makes sense to them, and not only understand it, but feel in control over it.
So, please mom's and dad's, when you're thinking about your day, and all the challanges you have to face there, remember that it has to start with your child. Give them the ability to have a great day also, and it starts with a confident child. Remember that we, as care giver's, have seen it before, and can handle it.
Let me tell you, parents, IT'S YOUR FAULT. Yes, you need to wake up and see that this behavior in particular, is directly reflected in how you & your child interact first thing in the morning. And if you don't recognize it for what it is, and address the problem, it will keep getting worse. You can pry the fingers off your neck as a baby, even a pre-schooler, then as school starts, the child will start sleeping later, rushing through breakfast, yelling at you as they go to catch the bus because they didn't remember to put all their books back in their backpack.
The solution? Spend time with your child first thing in the morning. Snuggle, read a story, lay in bed spooning for just a couple of minuets, and everything will be different. If this means that you need to set your alarm 5 min earlier so you have time to do this, then DO it. And, when Day Light Savings time rolls around, and your child is sleeping an extra hour, wake them up, so they have a chance to spend time with you before you leave in the morning. They don't know about the extra hour, they just know that you left, and will use every tool at their disposal to manipulate you into feeling like dirt. It works, doesn't it?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try and console your child, reason with them, and if you threaten to leave, then follow through and walk out the door. Remember that you chose the child care provider for their capabilities, and trust in them that they can handle a screaming child. You're only encouraging this behavior if you sit and talk, try to reason, or explain yourself. I once heard a dad try and explain to his wound-up 2 year old that he needed to go to work to make money. Does this compute to the child? I don't think so. Instead, spend those 2 min snuggling first thing in the morning, talking about what you will do when you get home. Remind the child about how much fun there is to have during the day, and that you will return.
A child that waves to his mom/dad as they walk out the door to leave is full of confidence. They know that they will be well cared for during the day, have all of their physical/emotional needs met, AND that mom & dad will return at the end of the day. They are empowered to have fun throughout the day, so they have stories to tell over the diner table. The rhythm of the day makes sense to them, and not only understand it, but feel in control over it.
So, please mom's and dad's, when you're thinking about your day, and all the challanges you have to face there, remember that it has to start with your child. Give them the ability to have a great day also, and it starts with a confident child. Remember that we, as care giver's, have seen it before, and can handle it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Gee
My son has been a "blanket baby" since he was just about 3 months old. I'm not sure when the exact day was that he picked his favorite, but it has not wavered in the last 4 years. He was offered pacifiers, and small stuff animals, but when his crib was full of different types of blankets, he picked this chenille one with a satin tag, and it was all over.
We don't know where the term "gee" came into place, when ds started talking, he named his favorite blanket, Gee. Now, it is more of an umbrella term, all blankets are "gees". For a while, ds had a couple of other gee's, Pink & Yellow, Rabbit, and we had to get a replica of Gee, which is named Go-Gee. Again, a name that he picked out, and we just caught on. We didn't know where that name came from, until just recentlly. We were getting ready to go somewhere, and ds said, "that Gee goes, let's bring Go-Gee".
Gee is a much loved blanket, with Taggie as the best part. Ds used to chew on the satin tag, so now it is gray, and crinkled all together. Taggie, as it's now called, is still gray, no matter how much I wash it. The threads are all stretched around Taggie, since that is the handle of Gee, and where it gets pulled on the most. Often, when I come in to kiss his sleeping face goodnight, he has Taggie clutched in his hand. Dh & I have told ds that he doesn't have to share Gee, and especially not Taggie.
All morning, he'll play with his Gee. He cuddles with it in our bed, sits on it when he's playing cars on the floor, wrapps it around himself, and pretends to wear a "Gee-shirt". We have had to start putting Gee away, so that he doesn't have it all-day-long, because he would. And ds's favorite thing is to snuggle with me, or Dad, and Gee. I remember my special blanket, and when it went up to "blanket heaven" as my mom said. My younger brother wore his blanket out, and I wonder if ds will do that. We're not looking to get rid of Gee any time soon, and I'm happy about that.
We don't know where the term "gee" came into place, when ds started talking, he named his favorite blanket, Gee. Now, it is more of an umbrella term, all blankets are "gees". For a while, ds had a couple of other gee's, Pink & Yellow, Rabbit, and we had to get a replica of Gee, which is named Go-Gee. Again, a name that he picked out, and we just caught on. We didn't know where that name came from, until just recentlly. We were getting ready to go somewhere, and ds said, "that Gee goes, let's bring Go-Gee".
Gee is a much loved blanket, with Taggie as the best part. Ds used to chew on the satin tag, so now it is gray, and crinkled all together. Taggie, as it's now called, is still gray, no matter how much I wash it. The threads are all stretched around Taggie, since that is the handle of Gee, and where it gets pulled on the most. Often, when I come in to kiss his sleeping face goodnight, he has Taggie clutched in his hand. Dh & I have told ds that he doesn't have to share Gee, and especially not Taggie.
All morning, he'll play with his Gee. He cuddles with it in our bed, sits on it when he's playing cars on the floor, wrapps it around himself, and pretends to wear a "Gee-shirt". We have had to start putting Gee away, so that he doesn't have it all-day-long, because he would. And ds's favorite thing is to snuggle with me, or Dad, and Gee. I remember my special blanket, and when it went up to "blanket heaven" as my mom said. My younger brother wore his blanket out, and I wonder if ds will do that. We're not looking to get rid of Gee any time soon, and I'm happy about that.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Reading to a child
This, by far, is one of the most important things you can do to, or for, any child. They sit in your lap, at first because they can't move, and then later because they want to. You capture their attention, activate their brain, and stimulate and create the use of their imagination. But, there are ways to do it correctly, and if you can, you will forever open their minds.
Growing up, I would always be encouraged by my dad to do the readings at church. This was my first experience of public speaking, and both parents made me practice. And by practice, I mean reading out loud, to them, A LOT. What I remember the most about those sessions, was that they always said the same thing, "Slow down". When I started reading to children, I recalled hearing my Dad saying that to me, so from the start, I read slowly to my nanny children.
Reading to an infant is pretty easy. You can choose whatever you want, and while they are nursing, or having their bottle, you just read out loud. Slowly, and every word. At this point, they are not listening to the content, just the rise and fall of your voice. You can read the sports page, or a trashy romance novel, they don't mind. The point is that you are establishing that what you are saying is important, and you're sharing that with the child you are holding. Therefore the child will learn that snuggle, one-on-one time, face time, can be achieved through books.
Once the child recognizes the book, then you have to switch to age appropriate ones and the teaching begins. The child learns that books mean have some value, that the pages have a rhythm of turning from right to left, that the pictures work from left to right, the book has a beginning and an end, and the words are actually saying something.
As the child grows, you continue reading speaking slowly, and allowing your voice pitch to alter with the climax of the book, or just with the written punctuation. No voices are necessary, although they can be fun. One year olds just like 1 word per page, or just to identify 1 shape or animal per page. Two year old likes quick short stories, and 3 year olds are getting into actual stories. By four, you're reading longer books, maybe even chapter books. Having them repeat back the story to you is a god way to see if they are listening to the words, or just looking at the pictures.
Growing up, I would always be encouraged by my dad to do the readings at church. This was my first experience of public speaking, and both parents made me practice. And by practice, I mean reading out loud, to them, A LOT. What I remember the most about those sessions, was that they always said the same thing, "Slow down". When I started reading to children, I recalled hearing my Dad saying that to me, so from the start, I read slowly to my nanny children.
Reading to an infant is pretty easy. You can choose whatever you want, and while they are nursing, or having their bottle, you just read out loud. Slowly, and every word. At this point, they are not listening to the content, just the rise and fall of your voice. You can read the sports page, or a trashy romance novel, they don't mind. The point is that you are establishing that what you are saying is important, and you're sharing that with the child you are holding. Therefore the child will learn that snuggle, one-on-one time, face time, can be achieved through books.
Once the child recognizes the book, then you have to switch to age appropriate ones and the teaching begins. The child learns that books mean have some value, that the pages have a rhythm of turning from right to left, that the pictures work from left to right, the book has a beginning and an end, and the words are actually saying something.
As the child grows, you continue reading speaking slowly, and allowing your voice pitch to alter with the climax of the book, or just with the written punctuation. No voices are necessary, although they can be fun. One year olds just like 1 word per page, or just to identify 1 shape or animal per page. Two year old likes quick short stories, and 3 year olds are getting into actual stories. By four, you're reading longer books, maybe even chapter books. Having them repeat back the story to you is a god way to see if they are listening to the words, or just looking at the pictures.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Daily timeline
My day begins early, with the alarm going off @ 5:35. I get up and shower, and am ready to dry my hair by 6:15. I run to Ds's room to make sure he's up, and get him into bed to snuggle with Daddy. He gets up @ 6:20 and if they don't get 5 min together before the start of the day, it's trouble.
I'm dressed and downstairs by 6:25 to start my coffee & put away clean dishes from the night before. Back upstairs by 6:30 to iron Dh's shirt, and ensure Ds is getting himself dressed. Everyone downstairs by 6:40 to kiss Daddy good-bye, and we gather up our stuff, and leave the house @ 6:50. I always leave the house with my purse, backpack, and laptop. Ds has his milk cup, breakfast, and his go-gee (his second-in-command blanket).
We travel 40min to work, up a very boring stretch of highway, but there is no traffic. Arrive @ work @ 7:30, and bring in all of our things, and start reading books, playing, or unloading the dishwasher.
We leave @ 5ish, and drive the 40min back home, this is usually the time I spend on the phone visiting with my family. Ds gets Sesame Street after we get to our house, while I make dinner, scramble to put a load of wash in the washing machine, have dinner, give Ds a bath, and to bed.
We've been going to this family's house for 2 1/2 years, my car has felt the abuse, and the drive isn't getting any more interesting. Ds is ready for a new challange, and I'm ready for it to be just me & Ds for the upcoming summer. It might be time to move on
I'm dressed and downstairs by 6:25 to start my coffee & put away clean dishes from the night before. Back upstairs by 6:30 to iron Dh's shirt, and ensure Ds is getting himself dressed. Everyone downstairs by 6:40 to kiss Daddy good-bye, and we gather up our stuff, and leave the house @ 6:50. I always leave the house with my purse, backpack, and laptop. Ds has his milk cup, breakfast, and his go-gee (his second-in-command blanket).
We travel 40min to work, up a very boring stretch of highway, but there is no traffic. Arrive @ work @ 7:30, and bring in all of our things, and start reading books, playing, or unloading the dishwasher.
We leave @ 5ish, and drive the 40min back home, this is usually the time I spend on the phone visiting with my family. Ds gets Sesame Street after we get to our house, while I make dinner, scramble to put a load of wash in the washing machine, have dinner, give Ds a bath, and to bed.
We've been going to this family's house for 2 1/2 years, my car has felt the abuse, and the drive isn't getting any more interesting. Ds is ready for a new challange, and I'm ready for it to be just me & Ds for the upcoming summer. It might be time to move on
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sounding out his first word
We had a breakthrough this morning, Ds (darling son) and I. We've had these through the years, and I'm fortunate enough to say that I've gotten to witness them, since he doesn't attend a daycare. Learing where to show me his parts of his face are, first words, learning colors, the list goes on and on. All things that verify to me, as his mom and teacher, that I am getting through to him. There is a brain in there and that things are connecting and we are growing as a person.
So this morning, Ds and I were getting ready to leave the house, and I was flipping through my cookbook on top of the stove. Ds was standing beside me, talking to me about our day, his breakfast, then he starts "o-0-f-f-f" (the short "o" sound as in octupus, followed by lots of "f" sounds), then he does it again, then it clicks. "OFF!!" he says. He was pointing to the word on the stove dial, and saw what the letters were, then just sounded it out by himself! I am amazed!! We've been working on our letter program, LetterOfTheWeek, for the last 6 months, and have just been trying to put short words together. Now I know that it's actually working!! whoo hooo!!! Together he and I did a happy dance in the kitchen, and went right to trying to read the word "front". We got through that one OK, but that's fine, I've achieved breakthrough, and now the train of reading has started.
So this morning, Ds and I were getting ready to leave the house, and I was flipping through my cookbook on top of the stove. Ds was standing beside me, talking to me about our day, his breakfast, then he starts "o-0-f-f-f" (the short "o" sound as in octupus, followed by lots of "f" sounds), then he does it again, then it clicks. "OFF!!" he says. He was pointing to the word on the stove dial, and saw what the letters were, then just sounded it out by himself! I am amazed!! We've been working on our letter program, LetterOfTheWeek, for the last 6 months, and have just been trying to put short words together. Now I know that it's actually working!! whoo hooo!!! Together he and I did a happy dance in the kitchen, and went right to trying to read the word "front". We got through that one OK, but that's fine, I've achieved breakthrough, and now the train of reading has started.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Introduction to my third family
As posted before, I was engrossed in being a nanny, but needing some flexibility and more of an income. The agency found me another family that had multiple children, and one about to enter the world. I had a long interview with the family, and the mom requested some more background checks from the agency, so I went through fingerprinting, collecting my college transcripts, and another drug test.
The family consisted of mom, dad, older sister NannyGirl (Ng) age 11 {from mom's first marriage}, and Ng age 14 months. The mom was pregnant and due within a couple of weeks. We had a lot of talks about job description, rules of the house, expectations of the childcare, and how the relationship would be between employee/employee. I was also going to travel out of the country with this family, so I needed to get my passport. I was able to express to them through our interviews how much I cared for the little girl I was leaving, and that along with my college degree sealed the deal this family.
I was with this family for 2 1/2 years, traveled with them to Canada a couple of times, went with them to their beach house on the coast of NC, and really became a part of their family. When Grandparents came into town, we all would all be together. When the whole family went out of town, I went into the mom's office to answer phones and file paperwork. I was there for teething, crawling, walking, talking, potty training, plus showing of their house, and moving into a new home.
This family and I went through a lot together, including a series of miscarriages I had. Nanny Mom was supportive and caring like another mother would be towards me. And when I finally became pregnant, they were delighted. They were also pregnant, with their 4th, which would lead us to the end of our relationship. I never learned the series of events that definitively lead up to the decision that I was no longer necessary. That was a hard day for me, and we had just a few weeks together before I was replaced.
I'll be speaking of this family often, remembering occasions, events, or traumatic teething days. They have not kept in touch with me, so I try to distance my feelings towards them, but with anything that you have been a part of for so long, it becomes part of your life.
The family consisted of mom, dad, older sister NannyGirl (Ng) age 11 {from mom's first marriage}, and Ng age 14 months. The mom was pregnant and due within a couple of weeks. We had a lot of talks about job description, rules of the house, expectations of the childcare, and how the relationship would be between employee/employee. I was also going to travel out of the country with this family, so I needed to get my passport. I was able to express to them through our interviews how much I cared for the little girl I was leaving, and that along with my college degree sealed the deal this family.
I was with this family for 2 1/2 years, traveled with them to Canada a couple of times, went with them to their beach house on the coast of NC, and really became a part of their family. When Grandparents came into town, we all would all be together. When the whole family went out of town, I went into the mom's office to answer phones and file paperwork. I was there for teething, crawling, walking, talking, potty training, plus showing of their house, and moving into a new home.
This family and I went through a lot together, including a series of miscarriages I had. Nanny Mom was supportive and caring like another mother would be towards me. And when I finally became pregnant, they were delighted. They were also pregnant, with their 4th, which would lead us to the end of our relationship. I never learned the series of events that definitively lead up to the decision that I was no longer necessary. That was a hard day for me, and we had just a few weeks together before I was replaced.
I'll be speaking of this family often, remembering occasions, events, or traumatic teething days. They have not kept in touch with me, so I try to distance my feelings towards them, but with anything that you have been a part of for so long, it becomes part of your life.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Going swimming is absolutly exhausting!
Today, with my current family, was Meet & Greet day at the local indoor swim/play area. We can go for only $3/child, which they usually have once a month. We've been going to these playdates for awhile now, and the boys (mine and NannyBoy {Nb}), always have a great time. I pack lunch, and shampoo so not only do we shower after swimming, but have lunch so that I optimize the morning, and can come home to put them straight to bed for their "quiet rest".
A year ago, when we started going to these swim sessions, it was quite the obstical cource for me. The parents can get on the equipement to help their child get to the top of the slides, but are not allowed to slide down them. So imagine taking your child to a new park, showing him how to climb the steps to the top of the slide, then scurring back down to catch him after he slides down. NOW, imagine all of this with water squirting everywhere and you're in a bathing suit! That's what I was dealing with for the first couple of trips. The boy's confidence grew, and I was able to just wait at the bottom, and watch them as they climbed all over everything to get to the top of the slides. Thank goodness!
So after about an hour of this, we switch over to the lap pool side to practice jumping in. The pool provides life jackets, and I encourage the boys to climb out and jump in as often as they want. For the exercise, and the boost in their confidence. I have them jump over my arms, try to touch me with their toe, anything to keep them interested.
By now, I'm freezing, and starting to max out on the noise/choas level in the pool area. The boys know that after swimming, we go into the shower stall and be get soaped up and clean. So, we head to our shower stall, proceede to do our thing, as the rest of the swimmers come into the locker room to change. The locker room is now filled with fussy children, moms getting dressed, and one screaming baby. I've got 2 naked boys, who are obsessed with wagging their "boy parts" all around, and we're all dripping wet. This is when I start to focus on getting the boys in charge of getting themselves dressed, while I get dressed and not let any of my parts hang out. Oh, and the baby is still screeming.
Finally, we're all dressed, and can walk out of there. We find a table in the lobby to sit and eat lunch, and just let the silence wash over us. I get the boys to eat their lunch, and eat and eat, so they have a nice full belly for an actual nap this afternoon. I know that Nb will nap, but Ds? that's always questionable
A year ago, when we started going to these swim sessions, it was quite the obstical cource for me. The parents can get on the equipement to help their child get to the top of the slides, but are not allowed to slide down them. So imagine taking your child to a new park, showing him how to climb the steps to the top of the slide, then scurring back down to catch him after he slides down. NOW, imagine all of this with water squirting everywhere and you're in a bathing suit! That's what I was dealing with for the first couple of trips. The boy's confidence grew, and I was able to just wait at the bottom, and watch them as they climbed all over everything to get to the top of the slides. Thank goodness!
So after about an hour of this, we switch over to the lap pool side to practice jumping in. The pool provides life jackets, and I encourage the boys to climb out and jump in as often as they want. For the exercise, and the boost in their confidence. I have them jump over my arms, try to touch me with their toe, anything to keep them interested.
By now, I'm freezing, and starting to max out on the noise/choas level in the pool area. The boys know that after swimming, we go into the shower stall and be get soaped up and clean. So, we head to our shower stall, proceede to do our thing, as the rest of the swimmers come into the locker room to change. The locker room is now filled with fussy children, moms getting dressed, and one screaming baby. I've got 2 naked boys, who are obsessed with wagging their "boy parts" all around, and we're all dripping wet. This is when I start to focus on getting the boys in charge of getting themselves dressed, while I get dressed and not let any of my parts hang out. Oh, and the baby is still screeming.
Finally, we're all dressed, and can walk out of there. We find a table in the lobby to sit and eat lunch, and just let the silence wash over us. I get the boys to eat their lunch, and eat and eat, so they have a nice full belly for an actual nap this afternoon. I know that Nb will nap, but Ds? that's always questionable
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The story of my 2ed family
After some time with teenagers, I was ready to be with a family with children. The one who found me had 1 child, were fairly close to my house, and only needed me 4 days a week. NannyGirl (Ng) was a precious little girl, with big brown eyes, and long curly hair. Her parents were each on their 2ed marriage, and wanted one child to be the center of their universe. They both worked from home, and would rather me NOT go anywhere with their darling. Ng was about 18months old when I started, just about ready to start talking to the world.
Ng and I would play outside in the morning, have lunch with the family, then she would take a 2hr nap, we'd finish up our day with a bath lasting longer than an hour, and fixing of hair. She had love of TV already, and had a stream of shows on TV, and movies that we watched ALL THE TIME. "Bear In The Big Blue House", "Snow White" and "Monsters, Inc" were some of her favorites. I started calling her names based on which character we were watching.
We met a group of mom's in the neighborhood who had children all the same age, and we were able to make friends, with the limited access to the outside world we had. Unfortunately, since Ng was not going to a preschool/daycare she had no defences against your normal "kid" germs, and she would get very sick after every play date.
After a couple of months of this, I started to get the itch for life beyond the boundaries of their house. We asked once to go to a play date in the neighborhood, and the mom drove us. I was not 15 at the time, I was 23 and we weren't leaving the neighborhood, but still, we got a ride. For lunch, Ng was required to have items on her plate that looked, tasted, and felt different. For example, she could have square crackers, bell pepper cut into strips, and a sandwich had to be cut into triangles.
All of this, and I wasn't making a ton of $$. I tried talking to the parent's about this, and they offered me the job of cleaning their house to make more income. This was a little startling to me, since I have a hard time keeping my own house clean! We tried that for awhile, but in the end, I decided that this was just not the fit for me. While I was wrestling with the idea of leaving Ng, it just ripped my heart out. I would lay in bed at night thinking about how much I would miss her, and just cry and cry.
At that point, I contacted the nanny agency to try and find me another family. When the parents found out about that, the were very upset at the agency for not alerting them to the situation. Needless to say, it was a tense work environment for a month.
On my last day I had Ng make a ton of projects, with paint, play dough, and crayons. We cut some out and put them in a frame for her mom. I set them on the counter for her and she said, "Ok, see ya".
Of course, I miss little Ng, and wonder how her life is now. She won't remember the women who taught her how to turn over rocks and look for bugs, or what the colors are named, but I remember her and her sweet face, and to me, she'll always be that sweet little girl.
Ng and I would play outside in the morning, have lunch with the family, then she would take a 2hr nap, we'd finish up our day with a bath lasting longer than an hour, and fixing of hair. She had love of TV already, and had a stream of shows on TV, and movies that we watched ALL THE TIME. "Bear In The Big Blue House", "Snow White" and "Monsters, Inc" were some of her favorites. I started calling her names based on which character we were watching.
We met a group of mom's in the neighborhood who had children all the same age, and we were able to make friends, with the limited access to the outside world we had. Unfortunately, since Ng was not going to a preschool/daycare she had no defences against your normal "kid" germs, and she would get very sick after every play date.
After a couple of months of this, I started to get the itch for life beyond the boundaries of their house. We asked once to go to a play date in the neighborhood, and the mom drove us. I was not 15 at the time, I was 23 and we weren't leaving the neighborhood, but still, we got a ride. For lunch, Ng was required to have items on her plate that looked, tasted, and felt different. For example, she could have square crackers, bell pepper cut into strips, and a sandwich had to be cut into triangles.
All of this, and I wasn't making a ton of $$. I tried talking to the parent's about this, and they offered me the job of cleaning their house to make more income. This was a little startling to me, since I have a hard time keeping my own house clean! We tried that for awhile, but in the end, I decided that this was just not the fit for me. While I was wrestling with the idea of leaving Ng, it just ripped my heart out. I would lay in bed at night thinking about how much I would miss her, and just cry and cry.
At that point, I contacted the nanny agency to try and find me another family. When the parents found out about that, the were very upset at the agency for not alerting them to the situation. Needless to say, it was a tense work environment for a month.
On my last day I had Ng make a ton of projects, with paint, play dough, and crayons. We cut some out and put them in a frame for her mom. I set them on the counter for her and she said, "Ok, see ya".
Of course, I miss little Ng, and wonder how her life is now. She won't remember the women who taught her how to turn over rocks and look for bugs, or what the colors are named, but I remember her and her sweet face, and to me, she'll always be that sweet little girl.
Abbrevations
For privacy issues, I'll be using abbreviations when I post about my husband, son, cat, or other children.
Dh=darling husband
Ds=darling son
Nb=(current) nanny boy (This sounds so cold, and distant, but he's very close to my heart)
Ng1=nanny girl 1. Age 18 months when I started, barly 2 when I left
Ng2=nanny girl 2. Age 28 months when I started
Nb2=nanny boy 2. Age 2 weeks when I started
Ng3=nanny girl 3. Age 2 weeks
Ng4=nanny girl 4. Age 7
Ng5=nanny girl 5. Age 11, sister of Ng4
Dh=darling husband
Ds=darling son
Nb=(current) nanny boy (This sounds so cold, and distant, but he's very close to my heart)
Ng1=nanny girl 1. Age 18 months when I started, barly 2 when I left
Ng2=nanny girl 2. Age 28 months when I started
Nb2=nanny boy 2. Age 2 weeks when I started
Ng3=nanny girl 3. Age 2 weeks
Ng4=nanny girl 4. Age 7
Ng5=nanny girl 5. Age 11, sister of Ng4
History of professional nanny-ism
Like I have mentioned before, becoming a nanny wasn't my first career choice. Dh and I were just married, and have bills to pay, so I had to find something that would allow me to work during the day, during the week. I did some research online, and found an agency in Charlotte that would do all the leg work for me. I was interviewed, drug tested and referenced checked by them, then they set up interviews with families that might like me. A matchmaker, per say.
I connected with a family who had a tween and teenagers, who were really involved in school/sports and needed supervision plus transportation. We worked together for about 6 months, and I was really a dressed up chauffeur. Or, exactly what I did when I was 16yrs old living at home. When I look back on that experience, I think that solidified that I wanted to be home for my kids, so that they would never feel that it was an inconvenience for me to take them to their activities. In other words, let kids be kids.
I connected with a family who had a tween and teenagers, who were really involved in school/sports and needed supervision plus transportation. We worked together for about 6 months, and I was really a dressed up chauffeur. Or, exactly what I did when I was 16yrs old living at home. When I look back on that experience, I think that solidified that I wanted to be home for my kids, so that they would never feel that it was an inconvenience for me to take them to their activities. In other words, let kids be kids.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Introduction
What lead me down this path is something that I had tried to ignore as a teenager, hide as a young college student, and put behind me when I got married. And after graduating from college, I was ready to start my career in the hospitality field. I moved to Charlotte, NC and started interviewing at nice hotels and resorts, only to find out that I would start at the bottom of the totem pole, which is nights and weekends. As a newly wed, I wasn't ready for this. Unfortunately, the tragedies struck our nation on 9-11, and the hospitality industry's bottom fell out. I watched as all of my newly graduated friends were let go as a result. With this new challenge I began thinking about what I already knew. As the oldest of 4, with 3 younger brothers, being bossy comes naturally.
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