How employers really talk to their nannies

This was written to me in March of 2007, and my stomach still turns into knots while I read it.

Clare,

I need you to be more predictable and do more to help maintain the household. Please look at the job description carefully. I think you know what we need well enough that you should not need daily task lists. Examples of what I need more help with are the girls' rooms, closets, drawers, bathroom and their nails, and I also need you to do what I specifically request by email. I do not want to have to ask for the same things multiple times or to end up doing things myself when you don't get to it unless I understand why. We need to eliminate the gaps. Let's get the JD out again and go down it item by item and discuss.

We need to formalize everything more until we make sure we are on the same page. Please write down your time on a daily basis on the sheet on the fridge -- specifically when you arrive and when you leave. Remember that an employee starts their work day when they are truly in a position to start work, not necessarily when they arrive at the work place. Employees go "off the clock" when they finish work, which is before they pack up and leave. So we can appreciate what you do on a daily basis, write down a summary each day. For planning purposes, write down what you plan for the next day so we can add to it or prioritize. Remember that we would rather have the house running smoothly than have fancy meals and baked goods. There should some time each week for some fun with the girls too. For your own purposes, for a few days write down how much time you spend dealing with W--- while you are here. I think it is much more than you realize.

We truly need your help. John and I work really long hours and I'm still working on recovering my health. Look for ways to make yourself indispensable. The best way to do that is to make what you do each day and week predictable, and to prioritize in terms of what we actually need, which may not always be what you would prefer to do first. We adore you and W--- but you need to remember that this is a job and there are certain things that we need done each day and each week. This job needs to be for our convenience, not just when convenient for you, a distinction I hope you appreciate.

Let's try to get on the same page. We do value what you do.

(Also, please be careful with the kitchen. The island is for food prep not the counter. You left the counter dirty tonight. We already have damage to the counter from leaving lemon juice on it. Treat the kitchen with love -- we worked really, really hard for several years to be able to have a new kitchen and want you to treat it like it was yours.)(We couldn't wait on picking up the basement until tomorrow -- John needed to be able to clean it after it was picked up and needed to clean tonight b/c he has other things he needs to do tomorrow. It would be great if you could make the beds up downstairs tomorrow day for use tomorrow night. I washed some of the basement bedding so it is ready to go.)