I remember the days when ds didn't talk. Thinking about what was going on in his head, what he was pondering at any given moment. And then, when words began to come out, how exciting! There was something in between those 2 precious ears, AND it was working!!! When he starting calling me "Mom", "Mamma", oh, how it touched my heart.
Now, I have to take deep breath every time I hear "MAH-EM". This is usually from another room, outside, or across the soccer field. I've resolved myself that I'm biologically processed to stop whatever I'm doing, and answer this so-called cry for assistance. I can be almost asleep, elbow deep in soapy dish water, or intensely concentrating on a TV program when this word will slice into air.
This past weekend, Dh and I stayed up late on Saturday night catching up with each other, and I went over my customary 1 adult beverage (I had 3). So, Sunday morning comes with it my waller-worm son making his presence known in our bed to wake me up. I bring him downstairs and get him settled with his breakfast and Sesame, then retreat back upstairs to get more rest. This is when the "Mah-em" starts. Randomly, the voice reaches my ears, jolting me out of my semi-sleeping state. The frequency increases, "Mah-em, Mah-em" and so on. I drag myself out of bed, go downstairs and look at ds, "Yes, what IS IT". Ds replies, "You know what Mom? Elmo is talking about water today".
I imagine it could be worse, he could be crying, or whining other words trying to get my attention. He must think that whatever around him needs my attention, or he wants to share it with me. And we all know that children don't care at all about how late you stayed up the night before, or how much you had to drink. All of this should be a compliment to me, and the frequency we're together, right? Hold on, I think I hear him calling to me.....
"Mah-em, MOM"
excuse me, gotta run
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
"MOM, I'm hungry!!"
My son has been such a silly eater in his 4 years. He doesn't like anything soft and smooth, so he never ate baby food, and just started to like applesauce, yogurt, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. I fretted about this at first, as a first-time-mom, but would always offer him something hard and crunchy instead, and he would always pick that choice. At the end of the day he got all of his servings of the food pyramid. Something happened to his appetite around his 4th birthday that turned on his "eating button". It's just fine with me, I love seeing him eat, it's this deep feeling of pride when you know that your child is getting the nutrition they need. It has surprised me a couple of times, when he's ready to eat, and I don't have anything prepared, or at easy reach to hand to him.
That is what happened at soccer practice this past week. All of us parents are lining the perimeter of the designated area, watching our children learn "dribbling". He's glad I'm watching him, and unlike @ gymnastics, I can also hear him. He yells over to me, "Mom (MMaaaaaammmmm), I'm getting hungry!" Then, stops what he's doing to run over to me to see if I have anything to eat. Of course, I don't have anything to hand to him (and wouldn't!). I give him a drink and send him back on his way assuring him we'll have something after practice on the way home. Of course, once soccer is over, we head to the car to open his snack-pac. A tupperware container I have filled with almonds, red bell pepper and carrots. He has it devoured by the time we get home.
When we walk in the door, he declares he's "ready for supper now"
That is what happened at soccer practice this past week. All of us parents are lining the perimeter of the designated area, watching our children learn "dribbling". He's glad I'm watching him, and unlike @ gymnastics, I can also hear him. He yells over to me, "Mom (MMaaaaaammmmm), I'm getting hungry!" Then, stops what he's doing to run over to me to see if I have anything to eat. Of course, I don't have anything to hand to him (and wouldn't!). I give him a drink and send him back on his way assuring him we'll have something after practice on the way home. Of course, once soccer is over, we head to the car to open his snack-pac. A tupperware container I have filled with almonds, red bell pepper and carrots. He has it devoured by the time we get home.
When we walk in the door, he declares he's "ready for supper now"
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Make contact?
I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and am just conflicted about what I should do. The family that I worked for between 2003-2005 is very close to my heart. I started with them when the son was just a couple of weeks old, and was asked to leave when he was 2 1/2. As you can imagine, I have a lot of memories around him, his sisters, and family. As mentioned, in previous blog, I left when I was pregnant, and the mom had just had #4. Life goes on, and now I'm just curious to get in touch with them.
In 2006 I received a Christmas card from them, with a summer time picture on it, that gave a brief outline of their family's year, including a miscarriage. I felt for them, and remember crying the night that I read the card, and looked at the children in the picture. I sent them a card, expressing that I would love to keep in touch, or come and see them. The mom isn't a fan of mail, or even leaving message's on her voice mail, so I'm not surprised that I never heard anything back from this small attempt. Then, a couple months later, I heard that her business was closing. My thoughts were neutral on that, but sad that her creation was coming to an end.
So, the other day, I happened to be over in their part of town. It is NOT close to my house at all, so I don't have a chance to go by, unless I'm on a specific mission. It was the middle of the day, but I thought, I might as well drive by the house and see if they're home. From all accounts the kids are now, 19 (gulp!) 8,7, and almost 5. The house is still there, with the dog that I remember, plus 1. The scooter that the kids used to play with was out, as well as some other toys, but no one was home. The middle of the day, right? I jotted down the house #, and took it with me. Now I have to think about writing a note to them, or just stopping by again.
Of course, over the years, I've glazed over the challenging days, teething experiences, and cold, rainy February days when we just watched a lot of TV, and only think about the fun times. But I also think about what my son is like now. How I teach him, relate to him, and keep him entertained all day. What I did different then, and how I do it now. And the one thing I think of most, is how much I want to thank her (nanny mom) for letting me be a part of her family for so long. I know I wasn't the best, didn't show the kids enough affection, but how much I miss them. I didn't realize that I would grow to love those kids, and that they would forever hold a spot in my heart. I know they don't remember who taught them their colors, or numbers, but I remember them.
Maybe I shouldn't contact them so that the will always have this shinning image in my head. So that I won't tarnish their image with what they are like now. They are kids, and have moved onto more things, the oldest girl is probably in college now! The mom and I never became friends, and I never had a relationship with the dad, so what is there to grasp out? Is it because I was asked to leave that I feel like there wasn't any closeour? Will I really feel comforted by reaching out to them? Who knows....
In 2006 I received a Christmas card from them, with a summer time picture on it, that gave a brief outline of their family's year, including a miscarriage. I felt for them, and remember crying the night that I read the card, and looked at the children in the picture. I sent them a card, expressing that I would love to keep in touch, or come and see them. The mom isn't a fan of mail, or even leaving message's on her voice mail, so I'm not surprised that I never heard anything back from this small attempt. Then, a couple months later, I heard that her business was closing. My thoughts were neutral on that, but sad that her creation was coming to an end.
So, the other day, I happened to be over in their part of town. It is NOT close to my house at all, so I don't have a chance to go by, unless I'm on a specific mission. It was the middle of the day, but I thought, I might as well drive by the house and see if they're home. From all accounts the kids are now, 19 (gulp!) 8,7, and almost 5. The house is still there, with the dog that I remember, plus 1. The scooter that the kids used to play with was out, as well as some other toys, but no one was home. The middle of the day, right? I jotted down the house #, and took it with me. Now I have to think about writing a note to them, or just stopping by again.
Of course, over the years, I've glazed over the challenging days, teething experiences, and cold, rainy February days when we just watched a lot of TV, and only think about the fun times. But I also think about what my son is like now. How I teach him, relate to him, and keep him entertained all day. What I did different then, and how I do it now. And the one thing I think of most, is how much I want to thank her (nanny mom) for letting me be a part of her family for so long. I know I wasn't the best, didn't show the kids enough affection, but how much I miss them. I didn't realize that I would grow to love those kids, and that they would forever hold a spot in my heart. I know they don't remember who taught them their colors, or numbers, but I remember them.
Maybe I shouldn't contact them so that the will always have this shinning image in my head. So that I won't tarnish their image with what they are like now. They are kids, and have moved onto more things, the oldest girl is probably in college now! The mom and I never became friends, and I never had a relationship with the dad, so what is there to grasp out? Is it because I was asked to leave that I feel like there wasn't any closeour? Will I really feel comforted by reaching out to them? Who knows....
Friday, April 9, 2010
Park playdate
Today was the first day that we, ds & I, were going to a event of our fellow moms that live in Union county. I was so excited to meet some friendly faces with children the same age as ds. The idea that friends could live close, with mom's that all have the same stories to share, ahh heaven to me.
We didn't plan anything else for today, leaving the mid-day chunk free for any extended playing. I packed our lunch, drinks, and MADE cookies to share. A double batch of super-duper peanut butter cookies that tasted SO yummy. Of course, this was because food always helps ease the friendship in, right? The day is sunny with a brisk spring breeze, perfect for park playing.
Man, was I ever wrong. The mommies that were there, were fully entrenched in their own conversations with themselves and their <2yr yr olds. After ds schooled them with all of his tricks, we got dirty looks from the moms. Like, how dare I bring a bigger kid over to play beside their little ones. So, I start scoping out the rest of the park for age appropriate kids for ds. There are a few on the merry-go-round, but after ds tries it, he decides it's going too fast. The kids on the merry-go-round are all 6+, and don't take any interest in ds anyways. All I want to do is find some other 4yr olds for ds to play with!!
Ds is, of course, oblivious of all of my effort, as he clambers from one equipment apparatus to another, showing me tricks and having a good time. I'm left wondering where are all of the friends his age? Daycare/preschool must be the answer. Now I'll just have to do more research to find out where the other 4 yr olds are that don't go to school, or when they are done with school for the day so that ds can make some friends.
We didn't plan anything else for today, leaving the mid-day chunk free for any extended playing. I packed our lunch, drinks, and MADE cookies to share. A double batch of super-duper peanut butter cookies that tasted SO yummy. Of course, this was because food always helps ease the friendship in, right? The day is sunny with a brisk spring breeze, perfect for park playing.
Man, was I ever wrong. The mommies that were there, were fully entrenched in their own conversations with themselves and their <2yr yr olds. After ds schooled them with all of his tricks, we got dirty looks from the moms. Like, how dare I bring a bigger kid over to play beside their little ones. So, I start scoping out the rest of the park for age appropriate kids for ds. There are a few on the merry-go-round, but after ds tries it, he decides it's going too fast. The kids on the merry-go-round are all 6+, and don't take any interest in ds anyways. All I want to do is find some other 4yr olds for ds to play with!!
Ds is, of course, oblivious of all of my effort, as he clambers from one equipment apparatus to another, showing me tricks and having a good time. I'm left wondering where are all of the friends his age? Daycare/preschool must be the answer. Now I'll just have to do more research to find out where the other 4 yr olds are that don't go to school, or when they are done with school for the day so that ds can make some friends.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Our Tuesday activities
I have to have a plan, or an idea of what is going to happen the night before. Can't just go into the day wondering, "What will we do today?". If I do, nothing happens, I don't get out of my pajamas, and we sit around like bums. There will be those days, I'm sure, but not when it's sunny outside, and my house is in desperate need of vacuming.
We started the day with some vague outlines of what we wanted to accomplish. Clean ds's room, have him help me, trim back some bushes so I can get to the outdoor faucet without battling branches, and doing some housework. Ds did help me clean his room, he helped by staying out of my way so I could do some serious thinning out, reorganizing, and putting away. And he does help me vacume, by shooting it with whatever pretend gun he has in his hand, and whacking it as it goes by. Ds also wanted to do some digging to hunt for dinosaurs, since his current "Little Critter" book features this super cool idea.
When we headed outside, the backyard had about 2 feet left in the shadow of the house (our backyard is due West, so unless you get your backyard work done in the morning, you're on center stage with the southern sun as your spotlight). I got to work with the power trimmers, while ds was entertained by washing his out-grown front end loader. We want to pass this toy along to another boy, and it first needs to be rid of it's outer coating of pollen. He's having a great time with his super size sponge, when I look over and he's IN the bucket of soapy water. "Mom, look at this" he's saying to me with a great big grin on his face. By now, we're in full sun, so of course getting into a bucket of water will feel good. With his 4-yr-old abilities he's trying to wash the loader, stay in the bucket, refill his sponge, when something has to give... everything topples over. This just adds to the fun! We refill his bucket with more water until the loader is washed, and ds is soaked.
I collect all of my tools and put them away, and pick up my out door quilt. We can't go inside at this point, so we might as well enjoy some time outside in the shade. We lay the quilt down under some shade trees and hang out. Reading a book, and looking at birds, until he is mostly dry. Then he gets his shovel and starts digging for dinosaurs. He finds plenty of worms, which are just as cool, and finally decides that a safflower seed is a dinosaur bone. As he's telling me about this new find, he's putting the seed all around his body, trying to figure out what type of bone it is, and declares, "It's from the dinosaur's tail" as he's holding it behind his bum.
It's my hope that we'll have more days like this, full of projects, playing and exploring. He's only this age once, and I want to savor every moment. Next week starts soccer, and that with gymnastics we might not get a full day to hang out again until the fall. For now, this is my life, and I'm so thankful for it.
We started the day with some vague outlines of what we wanted to accomplish. Clean ds's room, have him help me, trim back some bushes so I can get to the outdoor faucet without battling branches, and doing some housework. Ds did help me clean his room, he helped by staying out of my way so I could do some serious thinning out, reorganizing, and putting away. And he does help me vacume, by shooting it with whatever pretend gun he has in his hand, and whacking it as it goes by. Ds also wanted to do some digging to hunt for dinosaurs, since his current "Little Critter" book features this super cool idea.
When we headed outside, the backyard had about 2 feet left in the shadow of the house (our backyard is due West, so unless you get your backyard work done in the morning, you're on center stage with the southern sun as your spotlight). I got to work with the power trimmers, while ds was entertained by washing his out-grown front end loader. We want to pass this toy along to another boy, and it first needs to be rid of it's outer coating of pollen. He's having a great time with his super size sponge, when I look over and he's IN the bucket of soapy water. "Mom, look at this" he's saying to me with a great big grin on his face. By now, we're in full sun, so of course getting into a bucket of water will feel good. With his 4-yr-old abilities he's trying to wash the loader, stay in the bucket, refill his sponge, when something has to give... everything topples over. This just adds to the fun! We refill his bucket with more water until the loader is washed, and ds is soaked.
I collect all of my tools and put them away, and pick up my out door quilt. We can't go inside at this point, so we might as well enjoy some time outside in the shade. We lay the quilt down under some shade trees and hang out. Reading a book, and looking at birds, until he is mostly dry. Then he gets his shovel and starts digging for dinosaurs. He finds plenty of worms, which are just as cool, and finally decides that a safflower seed is a dinosaur bone. As he's telling me about this new find, he's putting the seed all around his body, trying to figure out what type of bone it is, and declares, "It's from the dinosaur's tail" as he's holding it behind his bum.
It's my hope that we'll have more days like this, full of projects, playing and exploring. He's only this age once, and I want to savor every moment. Next week starts soccer, and that with gymnastics we might not get a full day to hang out again until the fall. For now, this is my life, and I'm so thankful for it.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Storking
When a women in my community have a new baby, members of her community are asked to bring over a meal for the family. This is "storking". While I have lived in this community for about 9 years now, I have yet to meet very many women. Due to working, my geographic location in my neighborhood, or whatever, I don't have many friends within 2 miles of my house. So, my online community asked me to join the Storking Committee, I jumped on the chance.
What I hope to achieve in this new role is to not only meet women, but make a name for myself around my community. I have a screen name, but as previously stated, haven't done much with myself. I don't want the notoriety of "oooo, you're getting storked by ()", just want people to recognize my name in more forums, so that when I go to places where we actually meet face-to-face, people might say, "Oh, yeah. She's the one who storkes". It's something my mom has done, although it was not labeled as such, and so I have the ability to put a casserole together, and who cannot benefit more from a ready made meal, then a mom with a BRAND new baby.
All of this said, it's challenging for me. Not only the worry of what to make, physically making the dish and delivering it, it's the absolute reminder of babies. My hubby and I have been trying for years now to conceive, and have yet to reach our goal. Seeing these women is a deep swallow of jealousy for me, but I just chalk it up to, this is the right thing to do. I also want some of this good karma, and people will eventually be storking me.
What I hope to achieve in this new role is to not only meet women, but make a name for myself around my community. I have a screen name, but as previously stated, haven't done much with myself. I don't want the notoriety of "oooo, you're getting storked by ()", just want people to recognize my name in more forums, so that when I go to places where we actually meet face-to-face, people might say, "Oh, yeah. She's the one who storkes". It's something my mom has done, although it was not labeled as such, and so I have the ability to put a casserole together, and who cannot benefit more from a ready made meal, then a mom with a BRAND new baby.
All of this said, it's challenging for me. Not only the worry of what to make, physically making the dish and delivering it, it's the absolute reminder of babies. My hubby and I have been trying for years now to conceive, and have yet to reach our goal. Seeing these women is a deep swallow of jealousy for me, but I just chalk it up to, this is the right thing to do. I also want some of this good karma, and people will eventually be storking me.
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