I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and am just conflicted about what I should do. The family that I worked for between 2003-2005 is very close to my heart. I started with them when the son was just a couple of weeks old, and was asked to leave when he was 2 1/2. As you can imagine, I have a lot of memories around him, his sisters, and family. As mentioned, in previous blog, I left when I was pregnant, and the mom had just had #4. Life goes on, and now I'm just curious to get in touch with them.
In 2006 I received a Christmas card from them, with a summer time picture on it, that gave a brief outline of their family's year, including a miscarriage. I felt for them, and remember crying the night that I read the card, and looked at the children in the picture. I sent them a card, expressing that I would love to keep in touch, or come and see them. The mom isn't a fan of mail, or even leaving message's on her voice mail, so I'm not surprised that I never heard anything back from this small attempt. Then, a couple months later, I heard that her business was closing. My thoughts were neutral on that, but sad that her creation was coming to an end.
So, the other day, I happened to be over in their part of town. It is NOT close to my house at all, so I don't have a chance to go by, unless I'm on a specific mission. It was the middle of the day, but I thought, I might as well drive by the house and see if they're home. From all accounts the kids are now, 19 (gulp!) 8,7, and almost 5. The house is still there, with the dog that I remember, plus 1. The scooter that the kids used to play with was out, as well as some other toys, but no one was home. The middle of the day, right? I jotted down the house #, and took it with me. Now I have to think about writing a note to them, or just stopping by again.
Of course, over the years, I've glazed over the challenging days, teething experiences, and cold, rainy February days when we just watched a lot of TV, and only think about the fun times. But I also think about what my son is like now. How I teach him, relate to him, and keep him entertained all day. What I did different then, and how I do it now. And the one thing I think of most, is how much I want to thank her (nanny mom) for letting me be a part of her family for so long. I know I wasn't the best, didn't show the kids enough affection, but how much I miss them. I didn't realize that I would grow to love those kids, and that they would forever hold a spot in my heart. I know they don't remember who taught them their colors, or numbers, but I remember them.
Maybe I shouldn't contact them so that the will always have this shinning image in my head. So that I won't tarnish their image with what they are like now. They are kids, and have moved onto more things, the oldest girl is probably in college now! The mom and I never became friends, and I never had a relationship with the dad, so what is there to grasp out? Is it because I was asked to leave that I feel like there wasn't any closeour? Will I really feel comforted by reaching out to them? Who knows....
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