I like to believe that I'm a decent person, have good manners and don't negatively effect people too much. This whole ordeal with my former boss that happened over a month ago is still bothering me. I guess it wouldn't get to me every now and then, but my son will reference our time there, or the little boy and he has such a sad tone in his voice, that it touches my heart. And I also think about how my nanny boy must feel. He's started a school program, and has friends in his neighborhood, so I don't think my son was at the top of his priority list, so hopefully he has moved on. For his mother, I doubt it.
I can say that, unfortunately, I have burned that bridge. For whatever reason, after my former boss found this blog and read the 1 post concerning my last few days @ her house, that she was washing her hands of me. Really, it wasn't that bad. And again, I was reflecting on MY behavior and how I was feeling, not venting about terrible my boss was, and that I couldn't wait to be done. The only thing I can think is that, somehow, I hurt her feelings. In the 2+ years that we were together she came to the conclusion that our kids were going to be lifelong friends, and would always be a part of each others lives. That's sweet, but unrealistic. And she always treated me, all be it a good, but still, an employee. I did have a pretty cushy job, 4 days a week, off when I wanted, even when that was at the last minuet so we could go farming. But again, it was a JOB, so I always had an arm's length opinion about everything.
It must be my son's feelings that I'm reacting to. Since I want the best for him, that includes not wanting him to be sad either. So this must be a lesson-in-progress for him to be sad. I think that after he starts his preschool program, and makes new friends he'll think about them, instead of his first good friend.
Still, I have to think about my job history to think about, and that she's refused to be my reference. I have friends who have seen me work, and will use them as my backup to explain and account for my professional history. And that's all that matters
Aw Clare, I'm sorry. Life has a funny way of working people in and out of our lives who may not have a purpose for us in our endeavors to enhance our potential. Take it as an opportunity to find a new person to be in your life, and learn from the whole circumstance to keep growing.
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