Justifying the cost

When a family in search of a nanny goes to an agency, they are required to pay a "finders fee" for that service. This eliminates the hassle of doing any of the searching themselves. No background checks, licence checks, drug tests, fingerprinting, blah blah blah. This fee that they pay to the agency can be between $1000-1500. Usually half at first, to get the ball rolling, and get potential nannies sent to their home to interview, and the remainder 30 days after a proper nanny has been placed.


The nanny just has to fill out the extensive application, sit through a face-to-face interview with someone from the agency, and pass all tests. Then, wait for a family to find her application acceptable enough to come in for an interview with the family. If that interview is successful, they might set up another interview/playdate (paid) to see how the nanny will interact with the children.


Let's address the application. The one I'm working on now has eleven levels of questions, ranging from basic information, household staffing, and self-assessment.

??Business Management/Support - managing/training support staff, computer abilities, errands, scheduling meetings and travel, knowledge of hotels and facilities, packing, organizing, and household budget

??Specialty Care - how to care for fine furnishings and fabrics, cleaning and disinfecting, cleaning and organizing storage areas, drawers and closets, cleaning product knowledge

??Repairs and Preservation - create list of/maintaining inventory, securing hazardous areas, upkeep of appliances, childproofing

??Entertaining - expertise in entertaining etiquette such as formal table service, table manners and protocol, event planning

and my favorite

??Create a paragraph which gives your mission and vision of your career and what you have to offer a future employer

Yes, this is my chosen career path right now. And yes, I do feel that it is a worthy job, I'm just finding it a challenge coming up with a mission statement. This application is pretty exhausting, which I'm sure is part of the process of weaning out possible candidate.

Seeking new nanny position leads to all kind of things

As stated before, my family is moving to Dallas/Forth Worth Tx in the next couple of weeks. I'm currently exploring the options of becoming a nanny in the area, and have made a couple of phone calls to inquire if the market is big enough to support a nanny career.

First off, a simple Google search resulted in 2 agencies. If DFW is big enough to have 2 agencies, then they certainly have enough jobs to support a career. I speak with one agency, and play 20 questions. How many families do you have?? How has the economy effected jobs?? What is the current rate of nannies. Just trying to get an overview of what I'm going to walk into once I arrive.

Then, I start fill out the online application. Simple enough, at first. Job history, references, licence number, and now onto the deeper stuff. "What is my mission statement?" "what is my overall philosophy on childcare" ???????????? These questions require some additional thinking. I save my app, and start looking up phone #'s for my references.

I call an old phone number off my last resume, and get a recorded message. I leave a voice mail explaining why I'm calling and what I need. When the call is returned to me, I learn that my boss I had for almost 3 years, back in 2003, sold her company, and has recently learned she has breast cancer. This is the woman I've been contemplating on contacting, just so I can see the kids, and touch base with her. Now I learn that she has had cancer!? I'm shocked. I'm going to be in her area tomorrow evening, but don't want to appear to be a stalker. So, I do what we do now when you're looking for someone, I find her on Facebook.

In the meantime, I've emailed my last boss, asking her for our job description/nanny agreement. She sends me it, and also comments on how she's surprised to hear that I'm looking for another nanny job. "I thought you wanted to spend more time with ds". Uggg, this is so like her. Like I need to explain to HER why I'm nanny searching.

Trying to explain moving to a 4year old

We've decided to move to Dallas for Dh's job, and made the big announcement yesterday. We knew that ds was not going to be too excited about this, as his world is very important to him. He's always liked to think he's in control over his surroundings. Very comforted by the same story over and over again, needs prep time to get ready for anything.

Last night, Dh started to pack up a his toy tractor collection, something that doesn't need to be out in a house on the market. These are special toys that Dad and Ds get to play with together only on special occasions. Ds was watching, and his bottom lip started to quiver,
"Why are you doing that Dad?"
"Well, I need to pack these up so they stay safe" -Dad
"I don't like that, you need to put those back" -Ds
"You're not in charge. Some times things have to change" -Dad
"I don't like change" -Ds

Ds and I went upstairs to read our first of a couple books about moving. He declares, "I'm not moving to a new house, I like this one".

So this is my challenge over the next couple of weeks. Not only getting him used to the idea of moving, but EXCITED about it, and looking forward to starting our new chapter

The Reality of Kid Birthday Parties

Birthday parties, a time to celebrate yet one more year completed, and another to go. Cake, punch, games, a pinata, noise makers, add children and you've got a party! Correction-you have crazy may-ham on your hands!

I've only been to a couple of parties, and this is ON PURPOSE. I know that if you have more than 3 children together your child will morph into something you have never seen before. The most active, and loudest child takes over, infecting the other children with this energy, and suddenly, you have a mob on your hands. Screaming, running around, blowing on those noise makers, climbing on things that not designed to be, and THEN, let's give them something to HIT at. Ahhh....this is a celebration right? There are no rules that apply here? Other than, let's scoot back a little so we don't whack our friends.

Ok, crazy mob scene, now lets add candy, cake and ice cream! whoo hoo! Let's see how many pieces of candy your child can stick in their mouth at once. My son can finish a lollipop in 3 crunches, and be digging in his bag for another in about 2.5 seconds. Then, give them all a slice of over mixed, super dry sponge cake (that everyone thinks is AMAZING) covered with icing dyed shades of colors using our favorite ingredient, Red Dye 40. Their teeth get coated in this goo, and if you're lucky, they'll get some on their best shirt they wore to the party.

Do you dare to open presents?? Well, I hope not, but if the child insists.. enter craziness that is usually exhibited at the toy store, when you tell your child that "No, they may not get the super-douper-crazy-cartwheel delux speed racer that includes 8 feet of track". Those asiles make great stages for the ultimate meltdown, and the ceiling echos so nicely. Back to the party, now all of those children are surrounded by the coolest toys, and which one are they going to bust out of it's plastic clamshell to play with first? "No, we can't? Aww man!"

Alright parents, time to leave, here's a goodie bag, wait -- another bag full of candy -- that you have to wrestle away from your over stimulated, crabby, too hot child on the way home, to wait out the sugar high. Ahh, the celebration....

"Mah-em!!"

I remember the days when ds didn't talk. Thinking about what was going on in his head, what he was pondering at any given moment. And then, when words began to come out, how exciting! There was something in between those 2 precious ears, AND it was working!!! When he starting calling me "Mom", "Mamma", oh, how it touched my heart.

Now, I have to take deep breath every time I hear "MAH-EM". This is usually from another room, outside, or across the soccer field. I've resolved myself that I'm biologically processed to stop whatever I'm doing, and answer this so-called cry for assistance. I can be almost asleep, elbow deep in soapy dish water, or intensely concentrating on a TV program when this word will slice into air.

This past weekend, Dh and I stayed up late on Saturday night catching up with each other, and I went over my customary 1 adult beverage (I had 3). So, Sunday morning comes with it my waller-worm son making his presence known in our bed to wake me up. I bring him downstairs and get him settled with his breakfast and Sesame, then retreat back upstairs to get more rest. This is when the "Mah-em" starts. Randomly, the voice reaches my ears, jolting me out of my semi-sleeping state. The frequency increases, "Mah-em, Mah-em" and so on. I drag myself out of bed, go downstairs and look at ds, "Yes, what IS IT". Ds replies, "You know what Mom? Elmo is talking about water today".

I imagine it could be worse, he could be crying, or whining other words trying to get my attention. He must think that whatever around him needs my attention, or he wants to share it with me. And we all know that children don't care at all about how late you stayed up the night before, or how much you had to drink. All of this should be a compliment to me, and the frequency we're together, right? Hold on, I think I hear him calling to me.....

"Mah-em, MOM"

excuse me, gotta run

"MOM, I'm hungry!!"

My son has been such a silly eater in his 4 years. He doesn't like anything soft and smooth, so he never ate baby food, and just started to like applesauce, yogurt, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. I fretted about this at first, as a first-time-mom, but would always offer him something hard and crunchy instead, and he would always pick that choice. At the end of the day he got all of his servings of the food pyramid. Something happened to his appetite around his 4th birthday that turned on his "eating button". It's just fine with me, I love seeing him eat, it's this deep feeling of pride when you know that your child is getting the nutrition they need. It has surprised me a couple of times, when he's ready to eat, and I don't have anything prepared, or at easy reach to hand to him.

That is what happened at soccer practice this past week. All of us parents are lining the perimeter of the designated area, watching our children learn "dribbling". He's glad I'm watching him, and unlike @ gymnastics, I can also hear him. He yells over to me, "Mom (MMaaaaaammmmm), I'm getting hungry!" Then, stops what he's doing to run over to me to see if I have anything to eat. Of course, I don't have anything to hand to him (and wouldn't!). I give him a drink and send him back on his way assuring him we'll have something after practice on the way home. Of course, once soccer is over, we head to the car to open his snack-pac. A tupperware container I have filled with almonds, red bell pepper and carrots. He has it devoured by the time we get home.

When we walk in the door, he declares he's "ready for supper now"

Make contact?

I've been thinking about this for awhile now, and am just conflicted about what I should do. The family that I worked for between 2003-2005 is very close to my heart. I started with them when the son was just a couple of weeks old, and was asked to leave when he was 2 1/2. As you can imagine, I have a lot of memories around him, his sisters, and family. As mentioned, in previous blog, I left when I was pregnant, and the mom had just had #4. Life goes on, and now I'm just curious to get in touch with them.

In 2006 I received a Christmas card from them, with a summer time picture on it, that gave a brief outline of their family's year, including a miscarriage. I felt for them, and remember crying the night that I read the card, and looked at the children in the picture. I sent them a card, expressing that I would love to keep in touch, or come and see them. The mom isn't a fan of mail, or even leaving message's on her voice mail, so I'm not surprised that I never heard anything back from this small attempt. Then, a couple months later, I heard that her business was closing. My thoughts were neutral on that, but sad that her creation was coming to an end.

So, the other day, I happened to be over in their part of town. It is NOT close to my house at all, so I don't have a chance to go by, unless I'm on a specific mission. It was the middle of the day, but I thought, I might as well drive by the house and see if they're home. From all accounts the kids are now, 19 (gulp!) 8,7, and almost 5. The house is still there, with the dog that I remember, plus 1. The scooter that the kids used to play with was out, as well as some other toys, but no one was home. The middle of the day, right? I jotted down the house #, and took it with me. Now I have to think about writing a note to them, or just stopping by again.

Of course, over the years, I've glazed over the challenging days, teething experiences, and cold, rainy February days when we just watched a lot of TV, and only think about the fun times. But I also think about what my son is like now. How I teach him, relate to him, and keep him entertained all day. What I did different then, and how I do it now. And the one thing I think of most, is how much I want to thank her (nanny mom) for letting me be a part of her family for so long. I know I wasn't the best, didn't show the kids enough affection, but how much I miss them. I didn't realize that I would grow to love those kids, and that they would forever hold a spot in my heart. I know they don't remember who taught them their colors, or numbers, but I remember them.

Maybe I shouldn't contact them so that the will always have this shinning image in my head. So that I won't tarnish their image with what they are like now. They are kids, and have moved onto more things, the oldest girl is probably in college now! The mom and I never became friends, and I never had a relationship with the dad, so what is there to grasp out? Is it because I was asked to leave that I feel like there wasn't any closeour? Will I really feel comforted by reaching out to them? Who knows....